I must admit I love a pumpkin or two or three about as well.
This year I didn't just get any pumpkins...
I got pumpkins from Sam's!!
You know what that means right??
They were large!!
Like the bowl of hummus for 50
or the bag of rice for 700
or the bagel bites for half a block of adolescent boys
or the single bag of dog food for your pack 'o hounds.
That Sam's is a fun place to go!
It is my custom to get an equal number of pumpkins for the number of children currently residing in our home.
This guarantees when carving time comes, each can design his or her own pumpkin in the way he or she sees fit.
This year only 1 of the three wanted to carve when the time came.
Yes, it was my daughter, who despite the slimy slippery seeds and assorted stinky pumpkin innards, did finish her work.
Which, in turn meant that the other two pumpkins were open for interpretation.
I must admit I love me some pumpkin carving.
That isn't entirely true.
I love the design work, but the whole rest of it stinks!!!
Ughhh! I hate the back breaking work.
The stench!
The slime and the way it coats your hands and arms.
The endless seeds which never all surrender to your demands to exit.
The thickness of the skin, making it impossible to do precision work.
The lack of tools perfect for this particular job, which in turn leads to sore fingers caught up in a project they were not designed to do.
And clean up...ughhhhh!
So, after about 2 hours of grueling work, giving up, restarting, acid burned hands, broken fingernails, and pumpkin stained clothes my jack 'o lantern was finished.
My husband and his muscles managed to get his cut, cleaned and carved...as well as our daughters cut and carved in...oh...I would say about 30 minutes.
But I am not hating..
..no I am not!!
I know that being an artist takes time and effort which not everyone is willing to put into a project.
So, we set our Jacks on the front porch and gave them light and life.
Little did I know they would begin talking amongst themselves almost immediately.
I calmly listened in on their conversation.
The Jack in the middle began speaking in a voice very much like Goofy!
"Well a Happy Hidey Ho there Jack to my right!
You look like a friendly sort of fellow!"
The Jack to the right was taken aback by his overtly friendly neighbor, but found it within himself to reply... in a slightly less Goofy-ish voice.
"Guh huh! Well Shucks neighbor Jack, it is right kindly of you to notice!"
They talked goofily about how nice it was to be on the front porch all lit up, about how the flame tickled a bit, about the nice weather, dogs, costumes and other fall type topics.
Then center Jack suddenly got a strange feeling.
The feeling was coming from his left.
He really wanted to turn and look, but couldn't.
He just couldn't.
He really, really couldn't.
But he could sense it.
Something was amiss.
Something was off.
Something didn't seem quite right with that Jack to his left.
At that point there was no more talk.
It just got very still and very quiet.
You see the Jack to his left, was no Jack at all but a Jill.
A Jill 'o lantern with puckered lips and an overly large necklace.
A sunken cheeked Jill with crazy eyes and manicured brows.
She was obviously out of her element, and on the wrong porch.
From that point on, there was silence.
Alas, it was only a few moments more that they had to feel the discomfort!
My husband logically pointed out that we could either put them right into the trash can for pick up the next morning or we could deal with rotten, moldy, bug infested pumpkins stinking up our existence for a full week instead.
I was anxious to be rid of her so I chose the now option.
I suppose I could have enjoyed the Jacks a few more days, but I didn't really want to show that much partiality.
So who carved each pumpkin you are wondering??
From left to right...
Husband, Daughter, not a pumpkin artist, in other words...me.
I was so distraught at my Jill outcome, but let her hang out with the guys anyway.
I should have known better.
I wonder what they talked about in the trashcan all night?
I wonder if they got past their differences?
We will never know.
My next post, will be about the correct technique for sorting Halloween candy!
And, despite what you may think, that does not include the Mom taking what she wants first!
Though I think in my younger days...to protect the innocent palates of my babies I did choose that option.
I know how to take one for the team!
I haven't lost my mind, by the way.
