Welcome to Candy Sorting 101.
This is an annual class held each November 1st following the deluge of candy from the obvious October 31st holiday.
Every student must begin with a hearty breakfast. A breakfast with NO sugar in it.
A breakfast designed to fill up the empty space good and tight so that you can't cram it with assorted candies.
For your instructor...an egg over medium, a slice of whole wheat toast and a side of green sauce for a little kick!!
Do not, for any reason skip this step!
Raise your right hand and repeat after me...
"I will not skip this step"
Okay, you may now progress with the lesson.
Step One:
Assemble all the candy from the whole house in one area.
A nice flat surface to work on!
Now come on people, I said all the candy, this can't be all of it.
Ahhhh, here we go.
Wait a minute...I have three kids, this can't possibly be all the candy!
Let me go on a bit of a search, I will be right back!
Ahh ha!! Now that is all of the candy!!
Yes I am an evil mother filled with malcontent towards my children.
I don't know that malcontent is actually the word I want there, but I have no time to research it.
I am determined to fight the inner greedy monster which makes them hide candy, cry out to the unfairness of amount of candy compared to other siblings, and over all candy addictiveness.
I ask for all candy to be surrendered for sorting.
However I am not so cold hearted that I don't understand candy loyalty so I do let each child pull a handful that is only theirs, which is not kept in their rooms by the way!!
So, that would be step two.
Step Three: Remove all flotsam and trash from the candy pile.
Wow, why is that bionicle there? Oh, yes I remember, my middle child took that with him and it got thrown in with his bag of goodies.
Step Four:
Separate into three categories.
Non chocolate, non edible, chocolate.
MMmmmmmm Chocolate!
Non Chocolate
Non Edible
To qualify for this category it must be icky, perceived as icky, icky flavored, or likely to end up at the bottom of the bucket in 5 months time icky.
At this point you may create scenes of fantasy with your candies...
or not. That is not an official step!
Step Five:
Place seperated candies into very public containers for ease of monitoring.
First the non chocolate...
In a nice heavy jar with a crazy latch!
These are things that did not come in bulk.
The bulk items are but into yet another container and also placed in a very public place.
See that pumpkin wagon there?
There you go...the rest of the non chocolate candies!
This gives us a few months worth of lunch treats...sometimes lasting on through to Easter.
Okay maybe not that long, but I can hope.
Final Step is to move on to the chocolate items.
I really should move this step up in the process as my egg is no longer filling up the empty spot so much!!
Oh, my what have we here???
An attempted take over!!!
Oh Mr. White Bionicle man, I will not be separated from my chocolates.
Oops that slipped, I meant to say, the chocolate belonging to my children. Right!!!
I strip you of your weapons and show you who is boss!!!
Drat!!! I am over by 7 minutes.
I will not go back and correct anything...this is what it is today!!
I hope you learned a lot!
Uhhhh I would like to say again that I have not lost my mind!!
