Dollars for dirt

In an effort to make our old back yard agreeable to the new person buying this home we are filling in our fish pond with dirt.
Well, we are taking the fish out first and transporting them (somehow) to the new home. I have grand plans on this matter, all of them involve me doing a lot of screaming and jumping around as I try unsuccessfully to transfer the fish to the bucket.

Fish make me very squeamish.

Moving fish out of water freaks me out pretty badly.

Fish flopping in the grass...well that makes me jump around and scream because there is NO WAY I am gonna reach out and actually touch the fish to save it, but I desperately hate seeing it writhing around in agony like a fish out of water. Okay, it is a fish out of water but there truly is not better word substitute for getting you to picture that atrocity.

So, it should be interesting.
10 fish with their destiny in my hands.
Maybe you should be praying about this in advance.

Anyway this isn't about fish, it is about dirt.

I set out to find cheap dirt yesterday, phone in hand, fingers ready for dialing. I am a frugal gal, and pretty close to broke as well so when it comes to spending money on dirt....well that just fights with my inner thriftiness.

Here is how the phone calls went...

ME: "Hello, do you deliver dirt?"

THEM: "What kind of dirt?"

ME: "Uhhhhh.... cheap dirt??"

silence

more silence

ME: "I am just filling in a hole, it doesn't have to be special dirt."

THEM: "Do you want topsoil?"

ME: "I dunno, is it cheap?"

THEM: "Well it is $22.00 a yard, how many yards do you need?"

ME: (thinking.... that is cheap????) "Uhhhhhh my husband says we need 3 yards."
Hopefully cluing them in that I personally don't know anything about dirt, but am just the dirt liaison while my husband is at work.

THEM: clicking the adding machine keys
click click click..
"Okay, lets see... 3 yards of dirt" click click click "times 22.00, unless you wanted the blah blah blah dirt, it is $24.00 a yard"
I say blah blah blah because for me, and my long life of experiences there is just dirt, and cheap dirt is the only kind on my mind.

ME: "No thank you, I will just take the first dirt you spoke about."

THEM: still key clicking, "We have a delivery minimum of 4 yards, is that going to be okay?"

ME: "Uhhhhh, well I need the dirt so, yeah, I suppose that will have to be okay."

THEM: "Alrighty then, that is $88.00 plus a delivery charge of $25.00"
(or $35.00 or $45.00 depending on the place I spoke with) "bringing your total" click click,
"to $113.00, or $123.00, or 133.00." "Plus tax"

And they all said it as though it was the best deal out there!
They were genuinely proud to offer cheap dirt at low prices!!

ME: mouth wide open and aghast at the price of cheap dirt
"Well, thanks so much. I am still shopping around. I will get back to you."

Heavy sigh!

Idea.....

I decided we didn't need cheap dirt, we need free dirt.
As I was perusing Facebook yesterday a person came to mind who might possibly have some dirt.

So, I sent her a Facebook message.
(cause people don't actually use the phone to call people any more unless they are hunting for dirt).
I asked "Hey, do you have some random dirt laying around, or do you know of a good dirt guy?" I admit this is not worded eloquently.
But don't judge, I had just spoken to 8 proud dirt owners and was feeling like a lousy liaison.
She said "I don't really know how much 3 yards of dirt is, but we have lots of dirt. Come on over and get some, its free if you wanna haul it."

The dirt liaison then did a little dirt dance around the room! Woohoo free dirt. I placed the phone back in its cradle and dusted off my hands. My work was done.

Boy, I sure am glad I get to shop for a new fridge!
That is more in my comfort zone.

Have a great day...I plan to.