Evil chef Jen

I'd love to stick around and shoot the breeze with you but I have so much to do!

My husbands family is driving in from Nashville and Dallas today.
We are gonna have 9 extra people staying in our house (5 for 6 days and 4 for 2 of those days) and I am so excited about it.

No really, I am.

I love having company.

You wanna know why?

(Well besides the obvious fact that it is my husbands family and we love them dearly.)

I get to cook!

I have this inner chef begging to be set free, who is bound by the chains of mommy-ness.

Pleasing children with food in the daily grind of everyday life gets to be a chore.
You know, hearing stuff like....
"I am not gonna eat that!"
"What is this green stuff?"
"This doesn't taste the same as last time, what did you do?"
"Do you have to put oatmeal in the cookies?"
"There are too many blueberries in this."
"Can we have chicken?"
"Aaaawwwww do we have to have chicken again?"
"Can we have burgers?"
"I don't eat burgers."
"Why does all the good food have to have trans-fat in it?"
"I have to eat all of these vegetables to have dessert?"

Just on and on and on. I keep telling my darling children that I simply cannot please everyone all of the time.
The things that please one, distress the other.
Of course I try to alternate with who to be on the good side with, but someone is always unhappy, it is the nature of the beast.
I get that this is where I am in my life and will continue to fight this battle. A little at a time I will win them over.

But when company comes....Mommy is gone and Chef Jen gets to make an appearance.

If I want to put green stuff in the lasagna...I do!!
If I want to put cranberries in the scones...I do!!
If I want to add roasted red bell pepper to the pasta sauce....I do!!

Okay I could go on and on with that list of I do's.
Just suffice it to say, I cook what I want, how I want to please the more mature palates who sit around the big people table.

Yes, blog readers...I selfishly prepare lavish dishes so my children can suffer the atrocities!
Bwahaha ha ha ha....(evil laugh!)

So, I might not be back until this time next week, I just didn't want you worrying about me.

I am off now to prep our Saturday night lasagna ingredients and to make a double batch of oatmeal cookies to freeze.
Let the torture begin!!

Who to serve

Oh friends... the flowers in yesterdays post seem to live for less than 48 hours.

Those from my post, which were fresh Monday morning are now withered away with the stem curving over into the water, all the petals gone.

I just wonder at a God who would create a stunning flower which is available for pleasure for such a short amount of time.
Not a cloud of doubt kind of wonder but a shimmery purple kind of wonder.
If I had been out of town for just one day I would have missed this small thing.
This delicate beautiful cluster of six petaled flowers.

It causes me to think in this line of thought....

Do you ever feel like you have worked on something to make it just perfect and it is only enjoyed for a few brief moments, then gone? (Yes, you can include the last big meal you made in this thought process, it fits the scenario just fine.)
Or you have worked diligently on something only to have it go unnoticed or seemingly unappreciated?

Does the lack of regard make the hard work you did on it invalid?
Does lack of appreciation make the time you spent on it worthless?


The simple truth is that not all of our work will be treasured.
Not all of our efforts will be noted or appreciated in a way that we may feel is appropriate.

We spend so much of our time in both creative and mundane service and can get distracted by the amount and kind of service we do, instead of who we are meant to be serving.

If we are serving God in our creative or mundane service then our efforts are not in vain.
Our time and energy are duly noted and appreciated by our creator who seeks our devotion.
Often I think we set out,
strike that...let me speak for myself.
Often I set out to please others or myself.
I need to set out to please God above all else and if it pleases others then so be it.

I don't mean that in a harsh way, like I don't care about others, but in that it is more important to please the master, and if while doing that I can add something to another life then it will mean double the service.

Ah, here is the bible passage I was searching for on the subject.
Colossians 4:23-24
Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.


I meant to write about chocolate chip cookies today, I get so distracted!!
Oh, and if I have done any work for you lately, or cooked a meal for you, or picked up a kid for you, or cleaned your house...I have felt appreciated.
This is just written on principle and not on recent activity!!

I hate complaing about this again but...

My middle son asked me first thing this morning..."So, Mom have you written your blog today?"
I heaved a sigh and responded "No, I haven't."

See, here is the deal.
I take a photo with my camera.
I then have to load the photo to the old computer because this computer, for some strange reason doesn't recognize the existence of the camera.
I then log onto this blog page on the old computer.
The photo is loaded onto a new blog page, all is saved and shut down.
I then switch computers and log on where I can now write about the loaded photos.
If by chance I happen to delete a photo,
which mind you... I have done every single time,
I must begin the process all over again and usually by that time, the child who was breathing down my neck to get on the other computer has taken over said computer and won't come up for air for at least 40 minutes by which time I want to be done and moving on with life.

This is supposed to be easy and fun.
Both of those things are missing in the photo loading scenario, which is why I have been posting less often.
It takes twice as long to do double the work.

But since I had the prodding I decided to go ahead and give it a shot today, deciding to give you a list of wonderful things.

Due to my incompetence and the hullabaloo of loading images onto this blog, it has been whittled down to one wonderful thing.

Come to think of it, this may be a good thing.
Can't have too much wonderfulness all at once.
That sets a standard which I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to live up to.

Less wonderfulness on my part, less chance for disappointment on your part.

But, because I care about your blog experience I will press on despite the erasure of images and thoughtfully written text and present to you the one photo which survived my accidental deletion which of course occurred today.



This is one of our floating plants which was recently added to our pond.
I had no idea whatsoever that it was a bloomer! The bud is so tightly wrapped in its green stem that there is no visible clue of an impending burst of color.
So, on Sunday floating green bulbous plants and on Monday this full out gorgeous set of blooms.
What a treat!!
This 6 petal flower is literally a shimmering lavender. Notice the one petal which has the darker purple decoration, and yellow spot in center. Perfection! All the other petals circle around it, drawing your eye to the drama created.

And, perfect timing too. My mother in law is coming this next week, and she above all others will enjoy the pond as much as I do, if not more.
I was just commenting to my husband that I wished that the water lilies were farther along and would bloom for her visit. I had no idea at the time that these beauties were lurking there about to surprise me.

Oh, the visual treats God has tucked away in his arsenal.
I will never tire of discovering whatever He chooses to send my way.

Hopefully tomorrow I will create and delete another entire post for you, then have to start over and rework it until it is less than I imagined but more than nothing!!
Come on, laugh with me as we get through this trying time in my blog life.
Later y'all.

Ooooohhhhh, I harvested my first "crop" of cilantro tonight from my herb garden to put in a batch of salsa.
Wowza, it was great.

I went out to feed my fish the other day and took my camera along in hopes that I could capture one imp-articular.
We have a transplant fish from a friend who didn't wanna keep it in a fishbowl anymore but didn't want to flush it either, new to the pond this last week.
His name is sticks...as in fish sticks.

Hey, I am just relating the news here...

I did not get a picture of sticks as he likes to hang out at the bottom of the pond.
But,
I did get this shot.



Yes, yes...I know you see the fish, but that isn't what I wanted you to notice this time.


Here take a closer look at that lily pad.


Just look at the amazing little life sitting there with the perfectly matched orange stripe to complement the orange of the fish. ( I had another picture with both things in it...don't get me started on the issues thing, okay!!)
I was aghast.
I was in awe.
I can truly say that I have never seen this particular type of butterfly. (or moth, not sure how to tell the difference...and I won't be blogging about that so don't even ask)

I don't really know what else to say about this except that it thrilled my color crazy self to no end and I had to share it with ya.

Strange happy tortillas post

Please promise me now, before you begin reading, that you will come back to my blog!
"Why?" you ask.
Shifty eyed I respond, "Oh, no reason specifically, just looking for a little commitment from you."
Okay, I admit it, this post is a mess.
Working on this old computer is very frustrating because nothing, and I mean nothing works right in the blog program. So stick with me despite the hassle.
Now on to our post of the day.





Mmmmm Tortillas

Homemade wheat tortillas = happy, happy family.
I stopped buying flour tortillas at the store about a year ago. This was agony to my family. I refuse to intentionally feed my family transfat, and there is not a decently priced tortilla out there without it. So, homemade it is. Can I just say...it is well worth the effort and time. And I am back in good standing with my tortilla loving family!!



Hold on blogger friends, this post is gonna be "fun"!!

Yes, I did put that in quotes intentionally.
Our computer is still sitting diligently waiting for hookup...that is really all I can say about that right now.


I am certain you understand.




So, I thought I would really save myself some photo loading craziness and loaded them in two bunches; thinking they would simply go right on the page in order of how I placed them.



Oh they did alright....reverse order!!!



I just can't win.
So instead of starting over I am just gonna go for it in reverse.


You could really challenge yourself and read it from beginning to end and try to decipher it, or just scroll down to the big START HERE AND SCROLL UP which will be near the bottom of this post.
WAIT, don't go yet. I am not ready for you to scroll down, I was just saying you are gonna need to.



See, fun! I mean "fun".

This was my second attempt at homemade tortillas and I was very pleased with the outcome and the amount of effort required.
It did help that my middle child rolled out all but 3 of the tortillas. He is 9 and a skinny string-bean of a kid who really has staying power.
Not many adults, let alone kids have the staying power to roll out 30 tortillas!!

Here is the recipe.
I don't have to tell you that there won't be a printable.
You guessed that right?
Maybe later when....
here say it with me...
"The computer gets hooked up"



Wheat Tortillas
(makes approx. 32)
Ingredients:
Sift, then measure out 4 cups flour into a stand mixer.
(When working with flour always fluff it up a bit prior to measuring to get a more accurate measurement)
Add, 1-2 tsp. salt
(the current kosher salt I have is not very salty so I used 2 tsp this time. I could have bumped it to 3 I think and still been safe, your taste here is what matters)
melt 1/2 cup coconut oil (about 20 seconds on low in microwave)
boil 1 1/4 cup water
Add these two things simultaneously while the dough hook is stirring away.
Combine until all the flour is incorporated and the dough forms a ball pulling away from the bowl.

Let the dough cool a bit then wrap it in plastic wrap until you are ready to work it.

Dust a surface with flour and roll out each tortilla until very thin.
Cook each on a med-hi heat pan until browned yet still soft.
Let cool on a rack then pack away or eat!! These can be refrigerated or frozen...if you have any left that is!!

Okay, here is where you go to the bottom.
Go!




Flip them over. They should look something like this. Cool huh? When both sides are done, transfer them to a cooling rack if you are going to be packing them away for later use. If you are about to eat them, put them in a clean towel to keep 'em warm.
And there you have it, yummy happy tortillas.
I served them with black beans and rice.
I got accolades from all around.
I ate one with butter and honey.
Actually I two with butter and honey, one wasn't enough.
The End




When your griddle or pan is up to heat, throw on an appropriate number of tortillas and let them begin to cook. They will bubble up like this. There is really no way to know if the other side is done. I will tell you that a slight burning smell is not a good sign.

I love it that the little squished tortilla is still happy and is showing its love now in the rough shape of a heart. This is happy dough people, I think I have really proved this.

We started off using quite a bit of flour for rolling, but found with practice that less was needed.

Here is a square of dough and the final rolled out tortilla. They really stretch out quite a bit as the dough is very soft and pliable. Roll them thin, as they puff up a bit when cooking. I can't really say how thin this is...but it is 9 year old rolling thin, does that help?

cut the dough into balls.

Uh...okay, I cut them into squares.

I didn't thing the ball thing was necessary.

Actually, the truth is I had 6 minutes until I had to leave my house and I needed to form balls as well as hang a load of pants and shirts out of the dryer.
It really didn't end up mattering for the end result.

See, happy happy dough!! It almost looks like it is smiling and the bowl almost looks like I won't have to wash it.

Calm down....I will wash the bowl.

Mix and mix and mix until the dough forms a ball and the bowl looks clean and the dough seems happy with itself.

You've got this pattern right??? You will get to a point in time when almost all of the flour is incorporated, but some is stuck in the bottom of your bowl. Just squish it around and work it to the top so the dough hook will catch it when you start the mixer back up.

start Next measure out 1/2 cup coconut oil. I truly think this recipe could take less and next time I make it, I will try it with 3 ounces and work down seeing just how far down I can take it before the recipe fails. It is a semi solid, so I melted it in the microwave for about 20 seconds on medium heat.

(Coconut oil is a healthy fat. Read about it here. I want to experiment with using it more.)
I also had another measuring cup which I filled to just over 1 cup with boiling water. I poured these in simultaneously so they could incorporate together with the flour. Some recipes called for cutting in the oil, then pouring in the water. I didn't see the use in that extra effort. And actually after making this recipe many more times, I have found that boiling the water then stirring in the coconut oil till it melts is the best way to go. Then just dump it all in at once. end

Hey...start here first!!!! Measure out 4 cups of flour and 2tsp. kosher salt into your stand mixer with the dough hook attachment. I know some of you are saying..."but I don't have a dough hook attachment, let alone a stand mixer" Well, I am sure sorry about that, you will have to do the kneading by hand. Save up your pennies and buy a mixer, you won't be sorry you did.

I love, love, love the King Arthur White Whole Wheat flour for this recipe. It makes them sweet and workable while still having the goodness of wheat. This flour is all my local grocery stores and I have never paid $4.50 for it. Yikes that is pricey!! end, now go to the next photo up.

START HERE AND SCROLL UP
but read this first Now, I didn't get all technical and write each section as though you were reading literally bottom to top. So, just expect to read each section, then scroll to the next section. I would love to have done it in that way but cutting and pasting....well it just isn't happening...though I have tried, and thrown a fit about it, and screamed and flung things.

Okay, I didn't fling things.

But I wanted to.

Ha, after reviewing this post I am thinking that you may want to. It is crazy!

Just go up to the first picture you come across and start there.

Ninja smooth happiness

I realized something last night.

I don't have tile on my kitchen countertops.

Look

I feel as though I must say here that my husband is still working on the space where the computer will go so I am suffering on our old computer which has a paint program which I cannot figure out so no cropping is taking place in photos which totally makes me crazy, but after wasting a good 10 minutes trying to figure it out I just gave up because I really just wanted to post some pictures but can't even do that well because for some reason I cannot cut and paste and cannot for the life of me remember the control buttons for this and know I should just google the information but don't want to admit that I cannot remember so posting is completly frustrating instead of being fun AND for some reason spell check is not on. Rant over, til I try to post the next picture! Argh!!!

Why is this no tile thing a big deal you wonder?

Well, with tile comes grout and all those little crevices to scrub every time the surface is used.

Oh the hours of my life used up on scrubbing grout.

But, no more my friends, it is smooth sailing now.

I realized this last night as I got the dishwasher loaded and made it around the kitchen in no time flat with all the surfaces cleaned in the amount of time it would have taken to clean a single section in the old place.

I was appreciating this all along but couldn't figure out why.

I am slow like that sometimes.

Or stubborn, depending on the task and mood.

I decided that you needed to know the key controls for cutting and pasting, so I did google it...for your benefit... of course.

Here you go, cause I care....

Windows program key combinations

CTRL+C: Copy
CTRL+X: Cut
CTRL+V: Paste
CTRL+Z: Undo
CTRL+B: Bold
CTRL+U: Underline

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh it didn't work.

I CTRL+X 'd and it did cut, but then I CTRL+V'd and it didn't paste, so I had to ooooch this picture all the way down from the top.

It is a good thing I care about your blog experience or pictures would cease until I am settled back on the new computer.

But this is an important new thing and you must know about it.

Who knows what fodder it will be for future writings.

Oh, sorry...I am talking about our new snails.

See there below the two brown blobby things stuck to the side of the bucket?

We ordered a passle of things to make our pond a better place to be. It was a package of stuff, priced at a discount.

Included were many types of plants as well as ninja snails.

Well, that is what my kids call them anyway.

Actually, they are japanese black pond snails, but you get the ninja connection right?

Anyone need any snails?

We have just over 30 and only need about 15.

What does one do with extra snails.

Hmmmm, won't it be fun to find out?

I will let ya know what happens.

Gotta run, too too much to do today!!