Candy Sorting 101

I have given myself 15 minutes to write this post....ahhhhh go!

Welcome to Candy Sorting 101.
This is an annual class held each November 1st following the deluge of candy from the obvious October 31st holiday.

Every student must begin with a hearty breakfast. A breakfast with NO sugar in it.
A breakfast designed to fill up the empty space good and tight so that you can't cram it with assorted candies.
For your instructor...an egg over medium, a slice of whole wheat toast and a side of green sauce for a little kick!!


Do not, for any reason skip this step!
Raise your right hand and repeat after me...
"I will not skip this step"
Okay, you may now progress with the lesson.

Step One:
Assemble all the candy from the whole house in one area.
A nice flat surface to work on!


Now come on people, I said all the candy, this can't be all of it.



Ahhhh, here we go.


Wait a minute...I have three kids, this can't possibly be all the candy!
Let me go on a bit of a search, I will be right back!


Ahh ha!! Now that is all of the candy!!

Yes I am an evil mother filled with malcontent towards my children.
I don't know that malcontent is actually the word I want there, but I have no time to research it.

I am determined to fight the inner greedy monster which makes them hide candy, cry out to the unfairness of amount of candy compared to other siblings, and over all candy addictiveness.
I ask for all candy to be surrendered for sorting.


However I am not so cold hearted that I don't understand candy loyalty so I do let each child pull a handful that is only theirs, which is not kept in their rooms by the way!!
So, that would be step two.


Step Three: Remove all flotsam and trash from the candy pile.

Wow, why is that bionicle there? Oh, yes I remember, my middle child took that with him and it got thrown in with his bag of goodies.

Step Four:
Separate into three categories.

Non chocolate, non edible, chocolate.

MMmmmmmm Chocolate!


Non Chocolate


Non Edible

To qualify for this category it must be icky, perceived as icky, icky flavored, or likely to end up at the bottom of the bucket in 5 months time icky.

At this point you may create scenes of fantasy with your candies...

or not. That is not an official step!


Step Five:
Place seperated candies into very public containers for ease of monitoring.

First the non chocolate...

In a nice heavy jar with a crazy latch!
These are things that did not come in bulk.
The bulk items are but into yet another container and also placed in a very public place.

See that pumpkin wagon there?


There you go...the rest of the non chocolate candies!

This gives us a few months worth of lunch treats...sometimes lasting on through to Easter.
Okay maybe not that long, but I can hope.


Final Step is to move on to the chocolate items.
I really should move this step up in the process as my egg is no longer filling up the empty spot so much!!
Oh, my what have we here???

An attempted take over!!!


Oh Mr. White Bionicle man, I will not be separated from my chocolates.

Oops that slipped, I meant to say, the chocolate belonging to my children. Right!!!


I strip you of your weapons and show you who is boss!!!




Drat!!! I am over by 7 minutes.
I will not go back and correct anything...this is what it is today!!
I hope you learned a lot!
Uhhhh I would like to say again that I have not lost my mind!!

A tale of 3 Pumpkins

My husband is very insistent on having pumpkins for fall.

I must admit I love a pumpkin or two or three about as well.

This year I didn't just get any pumpkins...
I got pumpkins from Sam's!!

You know what that means right??

They were large!!
Like the bowl of hummus for 50
or the bag of rice for 700
or the bagel bites for half a block of adolescent boys
or the single bag of dog food for your pack 'o hounds.

That Sam's is a fun place to go!

It is my custom to get an equal number of pumpkins for the number of children currently residing in our home.
This guarantees when carving time comes, each can design his or her own pumpkin in the way he or she sees fit.

This year only 1 of the three wanted to carve when the time came.

Yes, it was my daughter, who despite the slimy slippery seeds and assorted stinky pumpkin innards, did finish her work.

Which, in turn meant that the other two pumpkins were open for interpretation.

I must admit I love me some pumpkin carving.
That isn't entirely true.
I love the design work, but the whole rest of it stinks!!!
Ughhh! I hate the back breaking work.
The stench!
The slime and the way it coats your hands and arms.
The endless seeds which never all surrender to your demands to exit.
The thickness of the skin, making it impossible to do precision work.
The lack of tools perfect for this particular job, which in turn leads to sore fingers caught up in a project they were not designed to do.
And clean up...ughhhhh!

So, after about 2 hours of grueling work, giving up, restarting, acid burned hands, broken fingernails, and pumpkin stained clothes my jack 'o lantern was finished.

My husband and his muscles managed to get his cut, cleaned and carved...as well as our daughters cut and carved in...oh...I would say about 30 minutes.
But I am not hating..
..no I am not!!

I know that being an artist takes time and effort which not everyone is willing to put into a project.


So, we set our Jacks on the front porch and gave them light and life.
Little did I know they would begin talking amongst themselves almost immediately.

I calmly listened in on their conversation.
The Jack in the middle began speaking in a voice very much like Goofy!



"Well a Happy Hidey Ho there Jack to my right!
You look like a friendly sort of fellow!"



The Jack to the right was taken aback by his overtly friendly neighbor, but found it within himself to reply... in a slightly less Goofy-ish voice.

"Guh huh! Well Shucks neighbor Jack, it is right kindly of you to notice!"

They talked goofily about how nice it was to be on the front porch all lit up, about how the flame tickled a bit, about the nice weather, dogs, costumes and other fall type topics.


Then center Jack suddenly got a strange feeling.
The feeling was coming from his left.
He really wanted to turn and look, but couldn't.
He just couldn't.
He really, really couldn't.

But he could sense it.
Something was amiss.
Something was off.
Something didn't seem quite right with that Jack to his left.

At that point there was no more talk.
It just got very still and very quiet.

You see the Jack to his left, was no Jack at all but a Jill.
A Jill 'o lantern with puckered lips and an overly large necklace.

A sunken cheeked Jill with crazy eyes and manicured brows.


She was obviously out of her element, and on the wrong porch.
From that point on, there was silence.

Alas, it was only a few moments more that they had to feel the discomfort!

My husband logically pointed out that we could either put them right into the trash can for pick up the next morning or we could deal with rotten, moldy, bug infested pumpkins stinking up our existence for a full week instead.

I was anxious to be rid of her so I chose the now option.
I suppose I could have enjoyed the Jacks a few more days, but I didn't really want to show that much partiality.
So who carved each pumpkin you are wondering??
From left to right...
Husband, Daughter, not a pumpkin artist, in other words...me.

I was so distraught at my Jill outcome, but let her hang out with the guys anyway.
I should have known better.
I wonder what they talked about in the trashcan all night?
I wonder if they got past their differences?
We will never know.

My next post, will be about the correct technique for sorting Halloween candy!
And, despite what you may think, that does not include the Mom taking what she wants first!
Though I think in my younger days...to protect the innocent palates of my babies I did choose that option.
I know how to take one for the team!

I haven't lost my mind, by the way.

Sugar combatant

Happy Halloween Day!

My kids are so sugared up from the last two days of festivities, how about yours?
I am determined to get some vegetables in their little bodies in order to try to counteract the sugar intake from all of the unsupervised eating here lately.

Whoa, that really makes me sound like the food Nazi that I am! Hee hee hee.

Truly the rule is :
When you are at home, 90% of the time we are gonna be trying to make really excellent healthy choices. When you are out and about it is up to you what you eat and drink. Eat what is served and be gracious.
And please don't lecture people on the evils of McDonald's or trans-fat!!
If it comes up in conversation, or you are writing a blog post about it...when then let 'em have it!!!

On a side note...
The other day I took lunch to my 7 year old daughter at school. The other family we were eating with just happened to mention the infrequent trips to McDonald's they might make in a pinch. All of a sudden my daughter started kinda vibrating next to me. I looked down and saw her screwing up her cute little bespectacled face and clenching her little hands...
...in and effort not to give a food lecture!!!!
It was a really mature (and cute) decision on her part!
After chatting a bit more with this family, we learned that they are a homemade healthy food kind of family as well, and that Micky D's is a last ditch chance to eat on a crunched time budget.
It was a great opportunity to talk to her (and myself) about not making snap judgments on peoples food choices.
I personally still won't be making the drive through the big golden arches...it has been so long and I might not live through such an adventure! In fact, it is hard for me to even walk in to one to visit the Redbox movie rental place. I feel some sort of betrayal to my conscience or something. Ha ha ha ha...actually, I am pretty serious about that in a ridiculous sort of way!
Food Nazi!!

So, I am headed down to the kitchen now to chop up some carrots and celery...
(and normal people would also claim that onion would be appropriate here, not me...blech)
...into tiny little pieces to hide in my chili which we will be having for lunch!

May the force be with you as well as you try to combat the sugar rush which hangs around until that particular candy bucket is empty!!!

When someone uses the "may the force be with you" comment in their writing about sugar, you must know that they are tending on the dramatic side...right??? You can sense that, right???

Are you using the force to sense it??

"Proud of you I am" says Yoda!!

Okay, this has gone downhill fast...gotta go chop!!

Just...nothing!

I don't have time to write about what I want to write about today, so it is going to be a random thoughts day!
Proceed at your own risk of time wasted!

I got an extra workout today, yes I did.
My son finally brought home a library book that needs to be returned.
He remembered it at the bus stop so I had to carry it on my whole walk!!
Extra load=extra workout.
I am just feeling so fit!!

I relish the sound of fallen leaves crunching beneath my shoes!
On the other hand, I get the heebie jeebies when a bug is crunched beneath my shoes.

I like relish on my hotdog.
Relish and mustard and chili!

I am making chili this week. Well as soon as I get back to the grocery store and get some meat to put in it.
I made vegetable soup earlier this week and almost got boo'd out of the house for it not having meat in it.
"Where is the meat?" they said.
"There is no meat, it is vegetable soup!"
"Vegetable soup??? How could you do this to us??"
Well, truly I thought that bowl of stuff in the freezer had meat in it and was relying on that for the meat.
I explained this to my family and also let them know that I did use beef stock as the base.

They were not impressed.
I enjoyed it!

When I was a little girl I just loved horses.
I dreamed of them, I drew them, I read books about them, I watched movies about them.
My daughter has this same propensity toward horses.
I think it is genetic!

I made the Tres Leches cake from the Pioneer Woman blog the other day.
Easy, especially with a mixer.
I truly did not think I would enjoy it, because of the interesting soggy nature of it, but decided to make it anyway, just to try something different.
I gotta tell you, I really like it!!
And, more crazy than anything...all three of my kids liked it!
But they did not like it enough to eat a full serving of vegetable soup in order to have it for dessert!

My husband is super awesome and I love him!!
Wow, I realize that came out of nowhere, but it is true and it hit my brain so I typed it.

I don't type everything that hits my brain.
Often I type stuff that hits my brain, then delete it.
This is best for all of us!

My favorite number is 8.
I don't know why.
It is a mystery to me, like numbers in general.

We are going camping soon.
I am working on my positive attitude about this adventure.
Actually I am working on working on my positive attitude about this adventure.

I have three rulers, 2 markers, 3 pencils and one sharpie sitting here on the second shelf of my desk.
Huh! I wondered where those rulers were!

I have 2 more minutes to write.
I set a time limit some days.
Well actually my schedule sets a time limit for me some days.

My goal for today is to make another round of pumpkin bread to see if I can tweak it to suit my liking.
We shall just see if that happens!!
45 seconds.
Oh the pressure.
What can I say?
28 seconds.
I have frozen up here....
oh my I am down to 15 seconds.
now 5...
done!

Warning!

STOP!!!
Don't just go out touching any old thing you read about in some random blog!!

Yeah, see these seeds...

...the beauties from the previous post.

This may be the one time when I should have done some research and didn't for lack of time.

Here is what I found out after hearing from two people that these are poisonous.

"A chemical in the plant called cycasin is toxic and often causes permanent liver damage as well as neurological damage if enough of the poison is absorbed by the body. "

Don't worry we are all fine here. We didn't choose to gnaw on them or make special soup stock hoping for a gorgeous orange color to thrill us. Just looked at 'em and planted 'em.
So please people do your research before you go eating random things from your neighbors yard okay??
Seriously though, dogs sure do love to chew on anything and everything...and this would be one of those things to keep away from them.

Now on to another even more serious note!!!

I must caution you not to attempt to make caramel apples at the precise moment you begin to crave them especially when it is after 7 in the evening and you have no prior experience with making caramel apples.

I must also warn you that those simple clear cellophane wrappers on the caramel of death squares that I bought are so frustrating to get off of the candy that I almost gave up the whole project before it was even partially underway.
Luckily though I didn't have to, seeing as how I did in fact spring for one bag of caramel bits.
I snickered at this convenience wondering just who is so lame as to not be able to open those simple little cellophane wrappers. Really!!!
Get the bits, trust me on this.
If you are gonna buy caramel
...which for the most of you,
I know you are, 'cause you roll your eyes at me when I talk about making my own at home,
just pay the extra .50c and buy the bits!!

See, it says it right there on the package but I was too stubborn and proud to pay heed.

"Unwrapped for easy melting" yeah, yeah...I see it now.


I must also advise you to warn your immediate family that you are in fact heating bits of caramel and chunks of caramel in the same bowl and that no you haven't lost your mind and put in a can of beanie weenies to heat!!

I guess behind the door of the microwave, while rotating this could be mistaken for beanie weenies.
But why in the world would I have that at my house and why would I be heating it up at 7:45 at night after making a wonderful soup for supper??
You can't make stuff like this up, this is real life people.

I think maybe the only thing I got right about this entire process is getting the sticks into the apples.

Uhhhh, I actually didn't put the sticks into the apples, my son did.

I had high hopes and a sincere desire for lovely sweet and tangy caramel apples. I wanted it to happen instantly and I wanted to drizzle chocolate on them in beautiful long strands.
Ha ha hah ahahhhah ahahhhha.

You know how you can step into work on something but you just feel off!
I tend to ignore this sensation and press on.
I shouldn't have pressed on!!

See how I put the pretty apple at the front and the "oops why isn't that chocolate sticking and why is it running down and pooling on the wax paper" apple way in the back!?!

These were a disaster-ish experience.
I will hold off my final decision until after I have had the chance to taste one.
They are supposed to cool for about an hour and a half, which puts me eating death on an apple on a stick right around 10 pm!

What??? I ask you...feeling your strong accusation at such things.
It is a treat, not a part of a regular meal plan.
I don't have to justify my caramel apple issues to you!!

Oh....look at the time.
It is 10:02.
Guess that means I can go sample an apple now!!
teee hee heee hee.

Mmmmmm! Just what I wanted!
Please seek a caramel apple tutorial elsewhere as mine is not likely to be helpful...
...at all.

Male or Female?

Take a look at this plant!

It is in my next door neighbors yard.


It is hiding a huge secret!


Take a closer look, can you see it yet?




Come on I will take you closer still.



See the center there!
It is a rounded out bulbous fuzzy area.



Come on, even closer and look inside.



When the layers of fuzziness are peeled back, you find these spectacular orange seeds.





A whole bunch of orange seeds!!

They are also covered with the pale yellow fuzz.


My 10 year old is holding a group of these seeds.
Some he had already rubbed the fuzz off of, but the others still have a bit on them.

My son, being the kid he is, took one of those wonderful seeds and planted it right away.

Come to find out this is a female Sago Palm.
I guess I knew some plants were male and female, but not all of them give us so much to take notice of.

Why am I just now, after 40 years of living giving notice to this you ask??


Well, a friend brought over a few Sago Palms to our place.
Apparently, they produce babies as well as seeds. What??
How does that happen?
Well seeing as how I don't have time for research we just have to take it for what it is.
They do in fact make little offsprings which show up and can be transplanted.


We planted 2 in the front yard...


...and three by the pond.

I just can't help but wonder if any of them are female.
And, how long will I have to wait to find out.
And when I do find out, will I remember enough to care?

Well, there you have it folks, just a little piece of what is going on around here.

I am working on perfecting a pumpkin bread recipe to my liking, and a pumpkin ale spiced bread as well.
Oh, and caramel apples!!
I just don't know if I have the guts to make an attempt at my own caramel again, so I will admit now that I bought those little wrapped squares.
I am human after all.
And, it is a treat, not a daily part of a meal plan.
And, while unwrapping the caramels may take some time, burning pot after pot of sugar kinda gets to ya too.
Ahhhh ha ha ha, look at me justifying my caramel purchase to you!!
We shall see how the week goes!

Exclamation Point

I was not going to write this morning.
However, I went out to the pond to feed the fish, as I usually do and had to share what has happened with our flowers!

First of all, look at this.

It is a new stalk of buds coming up. On Monday it was a mere inch out of the base you see there. On Tuesday 4 inches, and just look at it today!
I thought my kids were growing fast, but this beats that for sure!!

Now, remember those crazy big centers which seemed so odd to me.
They BUST out and become yet another branch with even more flowers!!
LOOK!!
(Bad photo sorry, in a rush here!!)


Now check this out...

As you go farther up the stalk those centers choose to be this beautiful clump of yellow pieces.
Fantastic!!!
I thought you would want to know, so there ya go!!

Wow!! I sure did use a lot of exclamation points today!!!
Well, it is because I am excited!!!
Little things like this in my little world make me a little happy!!!
Okay, a lot happy.
I choose to live life like that, it's just my way.

And ya know what else?? This duo of plants right here makes me happy too!!

They are heart shaped and happily colored and they grow at an unbelievable rate too!!
Hey...
...have a great Friday in your little world too!!