Beautiful location...

Simple charming decorations...
























Stunning bride....























Lovely evening!!

Another piece of my heart

Well, I apologize for seeming to flake out on you yesterday, that wasn't my intention at all.
I do have to admit though that I did not even touch my camera yesterday, so I am behind by a day. 
I imagine between the wedding I am going to tonight and the soccer game tomorrow, I will more than make up for that! 
Both of those things are social events and I have not a single responsibility to anyone for them.  I will just be a guest at one and a Mom at the other.
I always wonder what the photographers line is for such things.  Funny, I never wondered about it with my point and shoot camera!
Oh well, I tend to be extra sensitive about things, and I know this about myself.

I am going to try to quickly tell you today about my experience at the Engagement shoot that I did a few weekends ago.
Some of you may be thinking that you don't care a lick about that, but maybe too someone will learn something from the experience.
If you are a regular reader here, then you know I was heading to that day with fear, uncertainty, caution, dread, euphoria, happiness, artistic creativity flowing...and all kinds of other stuff and emotions.

I spend so much time taking pictures of just whatever happens by and was therefore thrilled at the chance to have 2 adult people who would listen to what I had to say and respond to it, in order to create something wonderful for them.

I studied and studied blogs and websites that I love of photographers who amaze me and went armed with an arsenal of images and ideas in my mind.
Other peoples images and ideas in my mind.
Rock hard solid images from established photographers who make thousands of dollars a month, if not a week.
I couldn't have set myself up for a bigger let down that doing that.

You see, like so many of us I didn't have confidence in MY ideas.  In trusting myself and my gut to what is beautiful and lovely. 
When in comes down to it...I am ashamed to say that I went armed with thinking I could copy images like those I had seen.
Yes, I did think I could copy certain poses and images and make them my own.
I was so wrong and I failed at that.
Now don't think too badly of me.  I think there is a certain amount of learning curve that comes with beginning any new art form.  I know in so many of my college art classes we copied all sorts of art work....for the purpose of learning!  And learn I did.
I began to feel and see very quickly that the ideas I had come with, remember ideas not my own were not playing out.  I struggled and pushed and wrestled and came up with bad image after bad image.
At some point in the shoot when my couple was doing a clothing change, I had a little sit down with myself and told myself to trust, to see what I see and believe in that.  To watch and study and capture and have fun doing it.
So, I did.
We ended up running out of daylight that day, but in a way I was glad. 
I went home quite dejected and disappointed in myself, while also giddy with the opportunity to have been creative.
I asked my couple if we could head out for another half hour the next afternoon,so that I could get a few more shots. 
I simply had to. 
I had to take the opportunity to go with only myself, head empty of any expectation; feeble trust in myself displayed for all to see on my sleeve.
I had to prove to myself that I had it in me.

I hope you aren't reading this thinking I am crazy!!!
This was an insane pivotal point in my photographers life.  If I crashed and burned hard, then I wasn't sure that I had the guts to stick with it. 
You know how you get to thinking you are all that, just to find out that maybe you aren't???  I couldn't bear that! 

There is a flip side to this as well.
I want SO MUCH for my artistic gifts to be used in some way to bless others.
I want to be able to give and love and love in the giving.
I want my photography to be an extension of the skill set that I have that can be used to make a mark for the kingdom of God.  If I failed, then the chance of doing that was headed right out the window too.

Is anyone still here???  Somehow I think that most of what I typed above will just sound like crazy talk to 99% of the 23 people who happen to stop by here.  But I am forcing myself to keep typing for that 1% who may understand this struggle.

God gives us gifts, and I think the Devil spends his time trying to figure out how he can make us doubt those abilities. If he can get us to cave, then that is one less thing we can use for good and the devil wins.
He uses our perceived weaknesses, our inexperience, our pride, our doubts and our human stinkin nature to get at us...and he pushes hard.
That said, I don't want to be someone else, take pictures like someone else, draw like someone else, even see like someone else.
I know I have said that before...and I am saying it again to listen again.  I want to take pictures in a way that I see, because you know what....God has blessed me with a gift!!! I AM an artist!  I see differently and care about light and color and beauty in a way that is completely different from almost every other person I know.  It is a gift.  From God.  I want to use it for His glory.  

Ahhhh I am going to keep typing!  Can you feel my struggle here???  I hope so.

Why is taking someone's engagement pictures glory to God?  Well, I don't know. 
But I do know that God will supply opportunity for me to use this gift in appropriate ways, and taking gorgeous pictures day after day can only speed that along and build my gift for His use.

BIG SIGH!!!
How about some pictures now and some positive things. 

I am good at reading emotion and anticipating action.

I found out that I LOVE to watch people and how they specifically move.  I love to catch them when they are so totally being themselves that they don't even know it. 

I am best at waiting, and watching and sneaking in shots in between moments that are delightful captures of people.

I am making it a specific goal to hone each of those strengths to once and for all find my style,which people will recognize.
Thanks for taking the time to listen to this loooooong rant. 
I have been dreading typing it out, but knew it had to be done!
I feel like I am back on track and heading in an awesome direction...and I have my focus firmly fixed on the Father!!!
 No time to edit, now that I took so much time gushing!  ha ha forgive my mistakes again.
 Hey....I have got to get!!!  I still have to get ready to go to this wedding tonight! 

It's just not gonna happen today!! 
I have too too much to do. 
Big post tomorrow though, I promise!!
I mean I will try to post a big one tomorrow.

Babies are growing up

  Ohhhh, remember the teensy tiny baby Angel Fish? 
Thank you for pretending to care and that you could actually see anything!!! 
I just looked at that picture and realized how ridiculous it was to try to even get you to see those fish that day. 
Oh well.
I know though that you can see these guys today!
Okay, so to start with here is the momma again so you can remember, and will you just look at how her babies have grown??!!??
There were two with a yellow tint to them, maybe tending to be albino???
We shall see.
The other 13, (no I didn't count, I just took my friends word for it) have the tell tale stripes of their parental lineage.

Can I just tell you that I am completely grossed out by being able to see through them. 
Blech!

 But intrigued as well.

Gotta tell you, chasing around these fish on completely manual focus is not for the faint of heart or impatient.
My lens chooses to only focus on the glass, so trying to spin it about and follow these darting beauties was some feat!!  I know these are no awarding winning shots, but they sure tickled my friend...so that makes em good enough for today.

because I had to

Ugghhh, today was one of those days when I did not have any desire to pick up my camera.
But, you know I did it anyway.

Luckily the sun was at least being gracious as I set out into the backyard in search of inspiration.

This is a lima bean plant.
Ick!  My daughter brought it home either from church or school in a styrofoam cup.
If is flourishing.
Blech...who likes those thingsanyway??

This is a new branch? Frond? Leaf?
Hmmmm don't rightly know what to call it...it is the Sago palm at any rate.
Love those gorgeous curls.

I was really hoping at least Shelby would help me with picture time today. 
I asked her...."Hey Shelby, wanna take a picture?"

Shelby???


Shelbster..please??

Then she took off running to bark at our neighbors, which is never really appreciated.

Wow, look at those bulging puggy, chihuahua buggy eyes.

They are part of her charm!!

As is her adorable grin. 
She is a good dog.

BUT, she did refuse to sit for a picture just like all the rest of the losers people around here. 
ahhhh ha ha, joking.  I really just wanted to use the super cool strike it out button on this new design page!
Here is hoping for a better picture taking day tomorrow.
later, me

 

Let me explain

 Have you ever had a photographer take an unimaginable number of photos of your little munchkin and then present you with only a handful??? 

Let me explain what happens from snapping time to when you get to see the final images.
I think there is a bit of a mystery involved there.

I have this little doll to thank for posing for me today, and giving me this excellent set of examples to work from.

This is my process, others may do it differently, but I can't speak for them...obviously!! 

I see something!
It reaches out and touches me and I immediately tell my subject to stop in their tracks.
It usually freaks people out, but they get used to me.


 I take the opportunity and snap,

 and snap,

and give them something else to do, and snap again.

I refocus a bit and check to see what I may be missing and snap again. 

 If they happen to still be sitting still...they have finally relaxed and will give a real face.
A face that isn't strained or fake, just real.

And that is when I get even more excited, because their true self...or at least one version of it is about to be captured.

See how her eyes are just subtly different in the one below from the one above?
BUT, with this one below...the focus is JUST off.  I mean it is good enough...but not really.  Not when you see the next one down,where it is sharp and crisp.  Go ahead scroll down and compare the next two.

Why in the world would I give you any of the first 6 images, (or 3 others that I didn't post) when I can plainly see that the 7th one is the very best?  
All those snaps are not always random finger nudges, they are purposeful choices to try and capture what I am seeing and what I want to freeze in time for you to have at your disposal.

The last thing for me in my work flow is fine tuning for presenting the final project.
I chose to up the contrast, brighten a bit, and convert to black and white on this one today.



 
I choose black and white for many different reasons.  Today the choice was because I don't care for the green of the slide along with the natural green of the trees.
It bothers me personally, so I take it as the best option.
You may not agree, and that is okay! 
But please rest assured, if your photographer is presenting you a picture then it is THE best one they got at that time and they are not withholding something wonderful from you. 

If your photographer is anything like me...they ONLY want you to have the best...and simply won't settle for anything less. 
My name and brand goes along with my pictures, which is why I only give the best.  Besides, it is not worth the time to try to work over a good shot to try to make it great. 

I hope this helps a bit with the mystery of the number of snaps taken.  It sure was a mystery to me, before I was the snapper!!! 
See ya tomorrow!!

a Mom's thoughts

Ohhhh, I know you can't see it but I can...blogger has a new "interface".
Uhhh at least I think that is what I remember it is called. 
It is the place where I type and load pictures and codes when I need to, it is like the backstage of blog land.
It is so much more clear and concise.
I need that in my life! 

I had a blast with the college kids who were here this weekend.
I spent half of the day Saturday with them, and the youth from our church. 
There seems to be so much secret Aggie code that I was not getting, but they let me hang anyway.  I mean, I was driving them around so they kind of had to.  ha haha! 
Their leader guy...who was amazing by the way...talked to me a bit about what the goal was for these kids.

They specifically set out to visit a church in order to serve. 
Wow, who does that?
Who spends their free weekend time in manual labor and bible class teaching, not to mention time with crazy just younger than them teens? 
They in turn learn about service, giving of their time, relating to different peoples and how to be  leaders.
It is like a mini mission trip.

I was admiring these kids and thinking about how cool they were and how fun it was to be with them.
Then I realized...these kids are someone's baby. 
No, I am serious. 
Somewhere some Mom was wondering where her child was that weekend.  Wondering who they were meeting, if they were getting enough to eat, if they were comfortable, if they ironed their clothes for church...you know all the regular things moms worry over.
I bet that Mom wondered if their kid was living like they raised them. I bet they wondered if they said yes ma'am and no sir...and if they were happy.
Well all you Moms out there I am here to report that your kids are awesome. 
They arrived and were very quick to divide up and head to the homes of those who would be keeping them. No hesitation, no questions asked...just trust that we were placing them in homes of people who would take good care of them.
They showed up on time the next morning and got right to work...and they worked hard!!! 
Down and dirty work...yeah, they did it!
They then ministered to our kids with a truckload of fun skits, singing and camaraderie.
Oh, and believe me they ate well.  We always eat well around here.
The men led classes and took part in worship service like they had done it all their lives.
They encouraged us with their youth and energy, they laughed a ton!!! 

And ya know what they let me take their picture a time or two as well.
I know you don't know these kids any more than I did when they pulled into our church parking lot on Friday night, but do know this...they are loved children of God, who touched our lives these past few days.

And, they are all someone's baby!!! 
Mom's...your kids done good this weekend!! 
God bless them as they grow in service and love.