My Wedding Day: Chapter One

I want to write today about something funny. Something to give you a chuckle, for sticking with me after yesterdays tough post.

I want to write about my wedding day! It was all that I wanted it to be
...and oooohhhhhh so much more!
(that is to be read with sarcasm dripping from it, to the point of drenching you fully)

Let's see...where to begin??

How about the setting? Yeah, that is a good place to start.
I will give you a few old, bad quality photos so you don't have to imagine it and I don't have to do a bang up job describing it!
That will save us both some effort!
Here you have what the audience would be seeing. The late 80's and early 90's were full of poofs and tulle. I took part, as you can see! Go ahead, click on the picture to see it better...it is pretty bad!! (Take note of what is in this photo, you will be needing it for later reference!)
And there below, a shot looking toward the audience area. Is audience the appropriate word?
I dunno, but I will just stick with it.



The location was a freshly mowed cow field at the base of a mountain in Montana! Pretty cool for a girl who had lived most of her life below sea level in southern Louisiana!

I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.
The weather was absolutely gorgeous! The sun was doing its thing, sparkling there in the seemingly never ending big Montana sky. There was a gentle breeze, the temperature was moderate and dry. Not a cloud in the sky!

Yes, it was perfect.

Perfect the day before the wedding!!!


The day of the wedding would be described more like this...
The sun was doing its thing, sparkling there in the seemingly never ending big Montana sky. There was gusting wind, the temperature was moderate and dry. Not a cloud in the sky!
Did you see the little change there.
Gusting wind is something of a problem for an outdoor wedding.
Oh, yes it is and I have the memories to prove it!! We will visit all of that in time.

Like every other girl I have ever known of, I took the time to plan this affair down to the last detail.
I think planning is good.
I think learning to laugh when the plan doesn't work out...is even better.

Let's skip the details of the boring parts where things went according to plan and get right to the entertainment. As far as I know everything went just fine, right up until the actual ceremony!

Laugh,

groan,

sigh....

Music was playing, a simple free flowing uncomplicated song from the girl who I had begged to come and play her keyboard at my wedding. ( We were on a very very tight budget, and I am sure I begged her until she finally threw her hands up and agreed. The songs I wanted really needed instrumental backup.)
So, she played. Creating drama where she wanted; going slower or faster, she wasn't using any sheet music at this point... just winging it... and it was nice!

All of the family walked slowly in to be seated. Right down the cow trampled uneven, newly mowed,
...really?
aaahhhhh!
cringe!
please, please don't anyone... especially my soon to be mother- in- law stumble... ground.

Remember the hair styles of that era? I know this seems like a bit of a jump in the story, but it is a valid point that needs to be made!

Big hair was still a necessity, and if it was wavy...that was all the better! Can't remember, click here for a truly awful example!
While no one in my family or wedding party looked like their hair was fried, most of them did have big hair, that continually blew in their faces for the 36 some minutes it took for the ceremony to happen, not to mention trying to get through cake and punch and the post ceremony festivities.

Well, I have never been one to be on top of the trends, no not me!

Nope, no fluffy poofed out hair for me.


No, I had a mullet!
Exhibit A:



Bhhaaaaha ha ha ha! What was I thinking? Well, one good thing...my hair didn't blow in my face all day! So there!
You know, now that I think about it...all of the groomsmen had mullets....hmmmmm I wonder if they remember that?

Okay, back to the ceremony! All of the family was seated and now was time for the wedding party to float gracefully down the aisle to take their positions.
Uuuuhhhh yeah right!
There is not a person I know of who can walk gracefully, in heels, in a cow pasture.
Sorry girls!

I had chosen the song, Friends are Friends Forever for this portion of the ceremony.
Just as planned the bridesmaids and groomsmen assembled near the back to walk in and the song began.
My girls walked with some trepidation, clinging tightly to the arm of the young man who was chosen to accompany them. Stepping carefully, trying to keep their hair from covering their eyes as they tried to maintain balance on the uneven terrain.
All the while my soloist bravely sang as loudly as he could trying to overcome the wind which carried away his beautiful notes as quickly as he could belt them out.

Oh, yes...the wind carried away a lot of things this day!

The most horrifying of all, was when it snatched the sheet music away from my struggling accompanist.
Suddenly... the beautiful song changed from a melody rich, lovely, meaningful tune to
my poor soloist continuing his brave singing...
with a high pitched, two finger, wishful thinking maybe no one will notice that I have stopped playing the actual music as someone races across the lawn to grab the sheet music and put it back in front of me... tune.


deee doooo
deeeee doooo

deeeeee doooooo
deee doooo
deeeeee

dooooo deeeee
dooooo

deee doooo de do de do
deeee doooo
deedoo de do de do deeee doooo the same two high pitched notes over and over and over again.
....until finally they got back on track for the big ending!

aaaannnnd Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them, and a friend will not say never 'cause the welcome will not end.

They did wrap it up nicely, but boy... were they both shook up!
Me?? I couldn't hear a thing! I was way back around the back of the ranch house waiting for my visual signal to come out. I sure couldn't rely on auditory clues seeing as how the wind had a way of stealing away that option. I had no idea of the disaster that had just ensued, nor the reason why disaster was about to happen.

Laugh,

groan,

sigh.


Well, it gets worse.
Yes, it does.
Much, much worse!
And I will tell you all about it... on another day!
Those of you who know this story, be patient and don't give away any juicy details ok?!?!