My Wedding Day: Chapter Five

Wowza, I am up early this morning.
I woke and my brain got to moving before my body could relax again.
I tried, I really tried to go back to sleep, but it just wasn't happening.

Then, I decided...hey, I have never taken a nap in my new home...I could do that today.
That was what cinched it for me and I got up and pushed the start button on my coffee pot!

You have all
(mostly, except for one person who will remain unnamed, but his initials are C. D.)
been so very patient waiting for this next chapter in my wedding story.


If you will recall, we left off with me tired of lugging my dress around, cringing at the sound of the pearls being crushed. You can go here to catch up if you need to. It has been so long since I wrote on this topic, I had to go back and read to see what I had covered, so don't be discouraged if you can't remember either.

Now on with the story.

We finished all of the regular wedding festivities and prepared to depart.
Seeing as how this was an outdoor wedding, on a ranch, we chose to use birdseed as our toss it at the running couple as they leave, farewell item. We intended for this to be tossed lovingly in a gentle arch, you know like something you would see in a well done musical.

Can I just say, never trust a brother or a cousin to toss lovingly.
They just don't have it in them.
In fact, don't hand a boy of any age something to throw at you specifically and then expect it to go well.
Those boys, they feed off of each other somethin' terrible.

Oh, I am sorry that was skipping ahead a bit, let me back up.

All of our dear friends and loved ones made a path (in yet another cow field) for us to run through to get to the well decorated car.
We hugged and loved and said goodbye, ready to drive away into the sunset of our old single lives and into the unknown of marriage.

There we stood, hand in hand, on the verge of something wonderful... then we started to run!!

At this point I let go of my dress, tired of carrying it and also needing an arm to keep my eyes protected from the stinging birdseed.
And then I felt it.

The tug.

Ladies, you know that feeling when you are wearing a longish dress and sitting in a chair and you go to get up but can't because the chair is on your dress and you feel that little tug that makes you look down to see just where under the chair your dress is caught.

You know, that little tug when, if you get up the chair is likely to tip and crash to the floor, or you may likely fall over.

Yeah, it was something like that, except at breakneck speed, cause we were running for our lives!!
The tip of the toes of my right foot firmly caught the front edge of my dress, I felt that tug, and the next thing I knew, I was flat on my bum with my husband still in the midst of the mad dash.

Yes, unfortunately, my husband was also shielding his face and was very focused on the goal of the car. He didn't feel me go down.

For me, it was like slow motion.
I felt the tug, stumbled on the uneven ground, felt my body twist and turn and found myself facing the opposite direction being literally drug along the grass with my arm out behind me held fast by the strong hold of my husbands clutched hand.
My sister in law recently told me that a "collective gasp" was heard.
Everyone was stunned and dismayed, seemingly frozen with shock.
Well, everyone except the (also to remain unnamed) few who continued to hurl birdseed at us in this tragic moment.

When my kids ask to have dessert, I tell them to get a reasonable amount. I think this is a good skill to peg down.
These unnamed fellows did not have a reasonable amount of birdseed.
Not possible.
I am still planning the revenge.

When my hubby finally realized that I was no longer running along beside him with the wind whipping through my mullet, he stopped and quickly turned to gently help me up.
He felt terrible.
I was embarrassed beyond belief and now had grass stains all down the back of my dress.

We then, red-faced made our way to the car at a slower pace (dress in hand, duh!!) amidst the condolences and wondering if I was okays and drove away as quickly as possible.
Ugh!

We sat there silent for a bit, stunned.
We have laughed about this so many times over the years, but not on that day in particular. We began the drive up the curvy mountain road toward our honeymoon destination, glad to have all of the eyes of our guests turned toward something other than the two of us.
When I finally got up the courage to look at something other than my wringing hands, I realized that somehow, my bag had not made it into the car.

Oh, the sinking feeling knowing we had to turn the car around and drive back into the midst of all those who had just partaken in our debacle.
We seriously considered not going back.
I think my sweet husband would have bought everything I needed to save me having to face anyone.

But, common sense won out and we returned.
Ugh!
I don't know what people thought, but they came running over to the car asking if we were okay.
We assured them we were fine, but I did however need my bag.

Ugh!
I know I already said that, but this deserves another.

It was rushed out to the car quickly by someone who loved me dearly, but I can't remember who. I just know they had to have great affection for me to deliver my bag and get me out of there post haste.
I have blocked from my memory those few moments of waiting in the car. I truly don't remember a single moment of it. I probably conversed in terse whispers with my bridesmaids having them repeatedly reassure me that I would, in fact go on to live a normal life despite this particular incident.

I warned you, right.
Okay, now take a deep breath we aren't done yet.

We drove along, birdseed in every imaginable crevice, to our honeymoon destination which was Big Sky, Montana.
A winter ski resort wonderland tourist attraction. (Not much of a drive, unless you have birdseed in every imaginable crevice.)

The first order of business was to find food...we were starving!! Like many couples we had spent our time mingling after the ceremony and didn't get much more than the traditional bite of cake to eat.
Let me just tell ya, there are not many restaurants open for business late in the evening, in the summer, in a ski resort town.
In fact there were no restaurants open...at all.
We were forced to go to the mounted animal heads galore, very expansive cause it needed to be, cause there was nowhere else to shop, Quick Stop type store there in town to pick up some groceries for our dinner.

On the menu for our first meal together:
Canned Ravioli
Beef Jerky
Doritos and Salsa
Oreo Cookies

Hey, don't judge. We didn't get vienna sausages or moon pies after all.

Since I haven't yet unpacked all of the office type boxes, I haven't yet found the photo that I wanted to scan in to add right here.
When I find it I will.
Oh, yes I will.
Because, it is evidence.
It is evidence of the next wrong to take place.
I truly don't know how I survived it.

It is a photo of my dear husband and I the very next day with his ENTIRE family, who had traveled all the way from Tennessee to attend the wedding, at the entrance to Yellowstone National Park. If I remember correctly the count was eleven plus the two of us.

Yes, my friends, we got up the day after our wedding to go hang out with his family and take a leisurely tour the park. I am sure I was a delightful shade of red all day long between recalling the misadventures of the previous day, and the obvious fact that it was my honeymoon!!!!

We toured all of the regular sites at the park. The bubbling hot pots, the gently flowing hot springs, the "grand canyon" of Yellowstone. We picnicked by the lake and took photos of all the wild beasts we encountered.

Please feel sorry for me.
Even after all these years, I still am not to proud to beg for empathy.

And that my friends is the rest of the story. I can't really say "the end" as we are still in the throws of crazy married life. It is 19 amazing years and 3 wonderful children later and I never tire of telling the tale of our wedding day.
I love to hear people laugh, and it is a sure bet!

Okay, go recover. I am gonna go take a nap!