Whoa, now. That kind of title would tend to get me riled up. I mean I believe in kindness and all but...
I have to admit, there is not much better to my personal sweet palate than deliciously smooth dark chocolate. I just love it! And it is good for you...you know this right!?! Really the two simply should not be lumped into the same category but for this occasion I will let it ride.
On a side note to my loyal readers; I simply cannot write the last of my wedding story yet, my heart is not in it...and it really needs to be to come across well. I am unsettled in my life, which makes me unsettled in my brain, which makes me an unsettled writer. So, I will go the easy route and at least have some form of self expression out on the table.
All the hubbub of regular life, with a bit of moving madness jumbled in has provided me a story to relate to you.
I have no problem being a spontaneous kind of gal. I am good at last minute plans and going with the flow. That said, I am also an avid planner about some things. When packing for a picnic for instance, I'd be sure to walk through every step of the process in my mind so as to not be lacking in anything needed for a lovely picnic experience.
What if you want to have watermelon, but you bring no knife to cut it. What if you want a sandwich but bring no mustard? What if you have plates but not napkins? The possibilities for a disastrous picnic are many, and I personally like to conquer them all.
So....when I found myself throwing some stuff in the cooler bag yesterday as I was running out the door, I knew I was in for disaster..but what can you do? There was simply no time to plan it out in great detail.
We decided to meet some people at the park for a little picnic and fellowship. I arrived with my hastily packed cooler bag...and my children.
Let's see, I didn't pack..
plates,
napkins,
chips,
pickles (doesn't everyone bring a jar of pickles to a picnic??),
a trash bag,
or
duh duh dunnnnnnnn
DESSERT!!!
You simply must have dessert on a picnic.
It seals the deal, makes it official, speaks of all things good in the world!!!
It was my intention to make some yummy dark chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, but alas I was once again kicked out of my house for some sort of inspection and was therefore empty handed on the dessert front.
I asked around to my fellow picnickers. Wait, is picnickers a real word?? Hmmm... strange, oh well lets go with it for the sake of the story okay?
I asked around to my fellow picnickers..."Did you bring any dessert?"
I asked everyone ...sure to include all within earshot.
Then I got more specific...
"Did any of you bring any chocolate chip cookies?"
Seriously who doesn't bring chocolate chip cookies to a picnic?
Well, these picnickers did not!! I was aghast!!
One family had those awful sugar cookies with the yellow icing piled high then sprinkled with the little colorful polka dots. Blech!!!! They are so fun to look at but, I have no desire to waste the calories on the dreadful things. No offense, but those things are nasty!!
The other family had brought freshly baked cookies from Subway. They specifically chose them because they were fresh from the oven, normally a good choice, right!?
However, much to my chagrin...they were also a sugar cookie. I did suffer through a bite of one of these, with great dismay. I really, really just wanted my dark chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and there simply was no substitute for my weary soul.
This particular park is nestled between a shopping center and some very nice condos. So, you often see people walking home with their shopping bags filled with their purchases. This lovely evening was no exception. I saw a gentleman walking leisurely with his four small bags, two in each hand.
I wondered in my mind...hmmmm maybe he has dark chocolate chip oatmeal cookies in his shopping bags??
Then I questioned out loud...."I wonder if he has any chocolate in his shopping bags" (Intimating that even a stranger knows that you are supposed to have chocolate available at all times to a crazy woman weary from the trials of moving. )
This made my fellow picnickers laugh as I had already hounded all of them several times for this very treat.
While I am sometimes a shy and reserved person...when it comes to food, I tend to forget my boundaries. I suggested that I was going to ask this fellow H.E.B. shopper if he had any chocolate in his bags. (HEB is a grocery store chain which I do also shop at, may even go today!)
My other picnicking friends kind of laughed this off, but I was a woman on a mission and found myself speaking before I could stop the words from coming off my tongue.
I shouted in a friendly manner, "You wouldn't happen to have any chocolate in those bags would ya?" He slowed, looking around to be sure I was actually speaking to him, then stopped, looked down at his shopping bags seemingly taking a mental inventory. He made some sort of internal decision because he then started walking toward us while reaching awkwardly into his bag.
He confidently said "No, I don't have chocolate, but I do have something better!"
SOMETHING BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE...UUUHHHHHH....boy did he have my attention!
What could possibly be better than chocolate nestled down in his fantastic plastic shopping bag?
I waited.
He dug around.
I saw him begin to withdraw a box. A box...of what...I could hardly bear it!!!
I waited.
He then commented "Yes, here you go, better than chocolate!"
I for one, was shocked and amazed that he even chose to stop and give my friendly holler a notice, let alone pull something from his sack to share.
He counted our little group and assured himself that yes, there were enough in the box for everyone to have a treat and handed the light blue box over with a huge smile.
We were awestruck and thanked him profusely for his kindness, all of us beaming up smiles at him from our positions on the picnic blanket. (ok, fine it was actually a few beach towels I had called to tell my oldest son to bring when my buddy picked him up. The picnic blanket is thrown over the loveseat which is thrown in the garage to make our little house seem more spacious.)
We finally turned the box over to find that he had given us a box of orange flavored lite popsicles.
Baahhhhh ha ha ha ha ha... He must be crazy to think that that is better than chocolate!!
The taste of the popsicle surely wasn't comparable to the deep rich chocolate flavor explosion I was craving, but his generosity was palpable! He sincerely gave up something he thought would be a treat to complete and total strangers and walked away smiling!
That really touched me, on a day I needed touching!
Just thought I would share that with you!
PS...as the rest of the group was walking to another portion of the park, I popped into a little grocery store and bought a chocolate bar. A dark chocolate bar.
I must admit I contemplated hiding in a dark corner and consuming all of it before anyone could catch me, but I remembered I was an adult, rejoined the group, and broke off generous hunks of it to share. Aren't you proud of me!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The issue of trust
I have found myself in a constant state of unease these past few days.
You see, we are waiting for our inspection report to come in on this home which we have lived in for 14 years.
What is it about this house which we have lived with, which will be a detriment to the next owners?
I don't really care to go into all of that specifically...what I want to talk about is living like you mean it.
Actually, that is not quite it.
I think I live like I mean it...(trusting in God that is).
It is getting my twisted in knots stomach, and racing heart to agree. It is shutting down the worry so that I can sleep through the night.
I decided just moments ago that I have been living as though I am stuck in a war zone and prepping for battle.
This is so far from reality it almost makes me laugh at myself.
There is no battle going on right now, except that in my own spiritual life to really trust in Gods timing. Which I suppose is an important war, but has me in no imminent danger.
Don't we all have our own neat little time schedule of just how everything should happen, and what would be just right for us.
God is the master planner. We have example after example of His amazing timing skills and yet we tend to not trust that He is doing that very thing for those of us who love Him too.
I mean seriously...he orchestrated little Joseph getting all the way to Egypt so that years and years later he could send Moses along to help set them free. And in that he sought to teach them so many things about how great He is and what a mighty hand He has for His people.
Do you believe He is doing the same for you.
More importantly...do you find your stomach and heart agreeing.
Today is the day for me to whip mine into shape.
Today is the day I surrender to God's timing on my moving issue.
If you are struggling in some way with the Masters timing, I understand...but lets give Him a chance to work His magic...okay???
You see, we are waiting for our inspection report to come in on this home which we have lived in for 14 years.
What is it about this house which we have lived with, which will be a detriment to the next owners?
I don't really care to go into all of that specifically...what I want to talk about is living like you mean it.
Actually, that is not quite it.
I think I live like I mean it...(trusting in God that is).
It is getting my twisted in knots stomach, and racing heart to agree. It is shutting down the worry so that I can sleep through the night.
I decided just moments ago that I have been living as though I am stuck in a war zone and prepping for battle.
This is so far from reality it almost makes me laugh at myself.
There is no battle going on right now, except that in my own spiritual life to really trust in Gods timing. Which I suppose is an important war, but has me in no imminent danger.
Don't we all have our own neat little time schedule of just how everything should happen, and what would be just right for us.
God is the master planner. We have example after example of His amazing timing skills and yet we tend to not trust that He is doing that very thing for those of us who love Him too.
I mean seriously...he orchestrated little Joseph getting all the way to Egypt so that years and years later he could send Moses along to help set them free. And in that he sought to teach them so many things about how great He is and what a mighty hand He has for His people.
Do you believe He is doing the same for you.
More importantly...do you find your stomach and heart agreeing.
Today is the day for me to whip mine into shape.
Today is the day I surrender to God's timing on my moving issue.
If you are struggling in some way with the Masters timing, I understand...but lets give Him a chance to work His magic...okay???
Friday, March 26, 2010
When we move
When we move
I will miss the heavy blooms of this glorious wisteria.
My husband brought it home for me one day out of the clear blue.
He knew it's beauty would thrill me year after year...
...and it has.
I don't rightly recall the year he gave it to me.
But here it is in the year 2005.
I at least thought about taking a photo every year, but am pretty sure I got sidetracked a bit and missed a few opportunities.
Like the year 2006.
Hmmm, no telling if I took one or not that year.
Probably one of those years I just walked past the back door gazing out enjoying it while thinking....I need to go take a picture of that.
Ahhh, here we go here got one taken in 2007.
and its annual picture in 2008, looking kinda rough!
I think this must have been right at the beginning of the flowers opening.
I should have waited a week.
Then I probably would have forgotten.
We were busy building a fort in our back yard last spring.
So, the wisteria got ignored a bit in favor of my cutie kids hammering away with their cutie daddy!
But, see...it is there to the right, if you look closely.
Yes, this is one of those things I will miss when we move.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Sigh.
I think I am in an exhausted stupor.
Maybe I should just go now.
Yeah, I am gonna go.
I totally need more energy to get through a good funny wedding blog. Cross your fingers on that, but please don't be holding your breath.
I will miss the heavy blooms of this glorious wisteria.
My husband brought it home for me one day out of the clear blue.
He knew it's beauty would thrill me year after year...
...and it has.
I don't rightly recall the year he gave it to me. But here it is in the year 2005.
I at least thought about taking a photo every year, but am pretty sure I got sidetracked a bit and missed a few opportunities.
Like the year 2006.
Hmmm, no telling if I took one or not that year.
Probably one of those years I just walked past the back door gazing out enjoying it while thinking....I need to go take a picture of that.
Ahhh, here we go here got one taken in 2007.
and its annual picture in 2008, looking kinda rough!I think this must have been right at the beginning of the flowers opening.
I should have waited a week.
Then I probably would have forgotten.
We were busy building a fort in our back yard last spring.
So, the wisteria got ignored a bit in favor of my cutie kids hammering away with their cutie daddy!But, see...it is there to the right, if you look closely.
Yes, this is one of those things I will miss when we move.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Sigh.
I think I am in an exhausted stupor.
Maybe I should just go now.
Yeah, I am gonna go.
I totally need more energy to get through a good funny wedding blog. Cross your fingers on that, but please don't be holding your breath.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Still alive, barely!
I know, I know....you are wondering where I have been.
Well, this last week while the laundry was sitting in baskets, clean waiting to be put away, or piled high in the hamper waiting to be washed...we were busy falling in love with a house and getting a contract on it.
Those of you who actually know me my be surprised by this little revelation.
You can't be any more shocked than I.
Two Sundays ago my husband made a joke about looking for a house. One thing led to another and now my current home is half empty, yet full of echo...waiting for just the right buyer to snatch it up and free us to move on to the lap of luxury.
Well, that might be a slight exaggeration... I am prone to that.
The luxury will be in the space which will allow for sleepovers and devotionals and tea with the ladies and nerf wars and an artist nook and a room for each of my kids and a kitchen big enough to accommodate big teenage boys eating everything in sight and too many other things to list here and not bore you to death.
So, be patient with me as you wait for Chapter 5 of the wedding story. It is a doozy, the most horrifying part yet!
I might even tell you some of the details of our honeymoon trip.
Yeah, I will tell you about that...it to, is too funny not to include. Don't come looking for juicy details, its not that kinda blog!!!
Pray for us! I hope to be back at it soon.
Well, this last week while the laundry was sitting in baskets, clean waiting to be put away, or piled high in the hamper waiting to be washed...we were busy falling in love with a house and getting a contract on it.
Those of you who actually know me my be surprised by this little revelation.
You can't be any more shocked than I.
Two Sundays ago my husband made a joke about looking for a house. One thing led to another and now my current home is half empty, yet full of echo...waiting for just the right buyer to snatch it up and free us to move on to the lap of luxury.
Well, that might be a slight exaggeration... I am prone to that.
The luxury will be in the space which will allow for sleepovers and devotionals and tea with the ladies and nerf wars and an artist nook and a room for each of my kids and a kitchen big enough to accommodate big teenage boys eating everything in sight and too many other things to list here and not bore you to death.
So, be patient with me as you wait for Chapter 5 of the wedding story. It is a doozy, the most horrifying part yet!
I might even tell you some of the details of our honeymoon trip.
Yeah, I will tell you about that...it to, is too funny not to include. Don't come looking for juicy details, its not that kinda blog!!!
Pray for us! I hope to be back at it soon.
Monday, March 15, 2010
My Wedding Day: Chapter Four
Ah, yes...the perfect song for walking down the aisle a married woman, with this man who I had waited for and dreamed about.
It should be something romantic, but not gushy.
It should bring to mind and heart the feelings of hope and joy.
It should be something meaningful to us as a couple, so we could think back whenever we hear the tune and remember all of the promise our young love held.
I decided the perfect song to meet all of these criteria was the last song from The Little Mermaid movie sound track. The two of us (and a few little sisters) had watched this movie at least a dozen times during our short courtship.
This particular song plays during the scene at the end of the movie where she is getting married to her prince charming. It is resplendent with harps, trumpets, drums, woodwinds, lower brass.
All of the instruments coming together for a song that shouts of joy and hope and promise!
Yeah, that was the song I chose.
Do you remember the old dual cassette players from the late 80's. They were so cool. When listening to one side of a tape, you could with one simple click of a button change to the other side of the tape. No more opening it up, removing the tape, putting it back in, rewinding and finally pushing play again.
No, now you simply pushed the button for whichever side of the tape had the song you wanted played.
I suppose we should have marked the correct button with a flashing neon sign, or maybe a cute little happy face sticker, or one of those bright red sticky note arrows.
But we didn't, and my swift and sure fingered little brother who just HAD to help with the wedding pushed what he apparently thought was the right button.
And we got a little bit of a previous song,
followed by
awkward silence
and then
one of the dearly loved
(yet not romantic, gushy, heartfelt or meaningful),
sing along songs from the album.
You can listen to the song here on you tube, but I will also write the lovely lyrics below.
Bwaaahhha ha ha ha ha. I remember stopping in my tracks, tugging on my new husband to listen closely and then laughing heartily! What more could I do?? Talk about a memory maker, we always think of our wedding when we hear a small child or over zealous adult belt out this dynamic number.
If you could have only seen the looks on the faces of my guests trying to figure out what in the world that song was doing in the wedding. It was too, too funny.
Oh, and loud...it was very, very loud.
I am sure my little brother was sensitive to the problem of the wind and cranked it up to counteract any gusts!
I am not sure who was running the wedding video, but the tape quickly clicks from the very awkward end of the ceremony to a head and shoulders shot of my accompanist and my little brother.
There they are under the shade of a tree, shoulder to shoulder, sheepishly looking at each other and then to the camera. They are doing all they can not to burst into laughter as they each sincerely apologized for the devastation they wrought upon the last half hour of that day.
"Our hearts were in it" they proclaimed as they fought to control the giggles.
My accompanist made and excellent point too, "Now at least no one else will ask me to play in their wedding!!" Ha ha ha.
We then went on to cake cutting, punch drinking, garter throwing, bouquet tossing, license signing and all the other things that go with a reception. My only complaint through this whole portion of time was that I continuously stepped on my dress.
My grandmother lovingly sewed this dress first out of muslin for fitting, then out of the beautiful creamy taffeta I had chosen. She worked on it until every detail was perfect. My mother and I then spent several hours sewing on seed pearls. These were across the bodice and all around the hem. Every time I stepped on the hem of my dress I could hear a little pearl crush under my weight. I just hated knowing that I was ruining the lovingly made dress and got to where I was constantly picking it up to avoid crushing any more little pearls.
Carrying a dress around gets tiring!
Having to carry it around to not ruin it was turning out to be emotional for some reason.
....to be continued
It should be something romantic, but not gushy.
It should bring to mind and heart the feelings of hope and joy.
It should be something meaningful to us as a couple, so we could think back whenever we hear the tune and remember all of the promise our young love held.
I decided the perfect song to meet all of these criteria was the last song from The Little Mermaid movie sound track. The two of us (and a few little sisters) had watched this movie at least a dozen times during our short courtship.
This particular song plays during the scene at the end of the movie where she is getting married to her prince charming. It is resplendent with harps, trumpets, drums, woodwinds, lower brass.
All of the instruments coming together for a song that shouts of joy and hope and promise!
Yeah, that was the song I chose.
Do you remember the old dual cassette players from the late 80's. They were so cool. When listening to one side of a tape, you could with one simple click of a button change to the other side of the tape. No more opening it up, removing the tape, putting it back in, rewinding and finally pushing play again.
No, now you simply pushed the button for whichever side of the tape had the song you wanted played.
I suppose we should have marked the correct button with a flashing neon sign, or maybe a cute little happy face sticker, or one of those bright red sticky note arrows.
But we didn't, and my swift and sure fingered little brother who just HAD to help with the wedding pushed what he apparently thought was the right button.
And we got a little bit of a previous song,
followed by
awkward silence
and then
one of the dearly loved
(yet not romantic, gushy, heartfelt or meaningful),
sing along songs from the album.
You can listen to the song here on you tube, but I will also write the lovely lyrics below.
Ah, we are the daughters of Triton
Great father who loves us and named us well
Aquata,
Andrina,
Arista,
Atina,
Adella,
Allana
And then there is the youngest in her musical debut
Our seventh little sister, we're presenting her to you
To sing a song Sebastian wrote, her voice is like a bell
She's our sister, Ari
Bwaaahhha ha ha ha ha. I remember stopping in my tracks, tugging on my new husband to listen closely and then laughing heartily! What more could I do?? Talk about a memory maker, we always think of our wedding when we hear a small child or over zealous adult belt out this dynamic number.
If you could have only seen the looks on the faces of my guests trying to figure out what in the world that song was doing in the wedding. It was too, too funny.
Oh, and loud...it was very, very loud.
I am sure my little brother was sensitive to the problem of the wind and cranked it up to counteract any gusts!
I am not sure who was running the wedding video, but the tape quickly clicks from the very awkward end of the ceremony to a head and shoulders shot of my accompanist and my little brother.
There they are under the shade of a tree, shoulder to shoulder, sheepishly looking at each other and then to the camera. They are doing all they can not to burst into laughter as they each sincerely apologized for the devastation they wrought upon the last half hour of that day.
"Our hearts were in it" they proclaimed as they fought to control the giggles.
My accompanist made and excellent point too, "Now at least no one else will ask me to play in their wedding!!" Ha ha ha.
We then went on to cake cutting, punch drinking, garter throwing, bouquet tossing, license signing and all the other things that go with a reception. My only complaint through this whole portion of time was that I continuously stepped on my dress.
My grandmother lovingly sewed this dress first out of muslin for fitting, then out of the beautiful creamy taffeta I had chosen. She worked on it until every detail was perfect. My mother and I then spent several hours sewing on seed pearls. These were across the bodice and all around the hem. Every time I stepped on the hem of my dress I could hear a little pearl crush under my weight. I just hated knowing that I was ruining the lovingly made dress and got to where I was constantly picking it up to avoid crushing any more little pearls.
Carrying a dress around gets tiring!
Having to carry it around to not ruin it was turning out to be emotional for some reason.
....to be continued
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Be not Bread Dismayed
So, I have spoken to several people who have been trying their hand at bread making.
First let me say... I am so very proud of you! Of us.
We are stepping out of a comfort zone, well at least I am, and will be better for it!!
If your bread is less than you thought it would be, I am so sorry, but I don't want you to be dismayed and give up.
Check your ingredients, make sure you are using the right amounts and following the instructions and give it another go!
Don't give up after one questionable batch okay??
I have probably made about 6 batches now, and my family proclaims that they like this last one the best. Of course they have said that about every subsequent batch, but I tended to agree this time.
I have done a lot more reading on this subject since my first post, and so I have learned more (and hope to continue learning)!
The whole gluten/protein thing is still a great mystery to me, and while I have read about it over and over again and had it explained by my bread buddy over yet again, I still don't truly get it.
I think someone needs to draw me a picture and use lots of color.
I speak color!!
Anyhow, my meager black and white understanding of part of this is that different flours contain different levels of protein which affects the rise they have. And...gluten is important to "the rise".
I truly cannot intelligently say anything more about that. If it really interests you then please read about it where it is spoken of intelligently, because I find myself wanting to use the word thingy here and I am pretty sure that is not appropriate bread speak!
So, because of that (whatever it all means) I have most recently tried bread flour and have also added Vital Wheat Gluten, to help with the rise.
Here is the latest combination of ingredients used, which I have tweaked from the Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes a day master recipe. I have a feeling I will change it up yet again while trying to achieve the best loaf possible for my family!
4 1/2 cups 100% Whole Wheat Flour
3 cups Bread Flour
1 1/2 T Yeast
1 1/2 T Salt (Kosher)
4 tsp. Vital Wheat Gluten
4 cups lukewarm water
Your flours should be fluffed up, spooned in and scraped off. Mix the gluten in with the flours with a whisk to get it good and combined. Other than that follow the recipe as was written last time.
If that whole first section got you good and confused, with more questions than answers, then have I got a deal for you!!
How about a really easy quick bread which will delight your family??
Quick and Easy Beer Bread (Printable)
(adapted from recipezaar)
3 cups flour (I like to do half white, half wheat)
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
3 Tbs. sugar (more or less if you like, this is great for us)
1 12 oz. beer
1/4 cup butter, melted
Fluff up your flour and loosely spoon it into the measuring cup, then scrape it off with a knife. (sound familiar?)
Add the other dry ingredients and sift or whisk them. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP!!
Slowly pour in the beer and mix until combined.
Pour half of the butter into a bread pan and spread it about. I like to break out my kitchen pastry brush for this, it impresses the children!
Dump the dough into the pan and drizzle the rest of the butter on top.
The original recipe calls for a half a cup of butter....feel free to go there, but it isn't necessary!
In a preheated 375* oven bake 45 minutes to 1 hour until center is done and crust is browned.
I made some homemade flour tortillas yesterday. (yes, we will eventually be talking about that here!)
We haven't had flour tortillas in months due to the fact that all of the store bought ones contain trans fat. boo hisssss
My youngest child ate a whole tortilla, went back for another and proclaimed them to be the best tortillas she ever had.
While I had my doubts about this, the next comment she made sealed it for me.
She said "mmm, mmm... I can taste the love"
And that my friends is why we should cook; so that our families and friends, and those in need can "taste the love".
Check back early next week for Chapter 4 of "The Saga"
First let me say... I am so very proud of you! Of us.
We are stepping out of a comfort zone, well at least I am, and will be better for it!!
If your bread is less than you thought it would be, I am so sorry, but I don't want you to be dismayed and give up.
Check your ingredients, make sure you are using the right amounts and following the instructions and give it another go!
Don't give up after one questionable batch okay??
I have probably made about 6 batches now, and my family proclaims that they like this last one the best. Of course they have said that about every subsequent batch, but I tended to agree this time.
I have done a lot more reading on this subject since my first post, and so I have learned more (and hope to continue learning)!
The whole gluten/protein thing is still a great mystery to me, and while I have read about it over and over again and had it explained by my bread buddy over yet again, I still don't truly get it.
I think someone needs to draw me a picture and use lots of color.
I speak color!!
Anyhow, my meager black and white understanding of part of this is that different flours contain different levels of protein which affects the rise they have. And...gluten is important to "the rise".
I truly cannot intelligently say anything more about that. If it really interests you then please read about it where it is spoken of intelligently, because I find myself wanting to use the word thingy here and I am pretty sure that is not appropriate bread speak!
So, because of that (whatever it all means) I have most recently tried bread flour and have also added Vital Wheat Gluten, to help with the rise.
Here is the latest combination of ingredients used, which I have tweaked from the Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes a day master recipe. I have a feeling I will change it up yet again while trying to achieve the best loaf possible for my family!
4 1/2 cups 100% Whole Wheat Flour
3 cups Bread Flour
1 1/2 T Yeast
1 1/2 T Salt (Kosher)
4 tsp. Vital Wheat Gluten
4 cups lukewarm water
Your flours should be fluffed up, spooned in and scraped off. Mix the gluten in with the flours with a whisk to get it good and combined. Other than that follow the recipe as was written last time.
If that whole first section got you good and confused, with more questions than answers, then have I got a deal for you!!
How about a really easy quick bread which will delight your family??
Quick and Easy Beer Bread (Printable)
(adapted from recipezaar)
3 cups flour (I like to do half white, half wheat)
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
3 Tbs. sugar (more or less if you like, this is great for us)
1 12 oz. beer
1/4 cup butter, melted
Fluff up your flour and loosely spoon it into the measuring cup, then scrape it off with a knife. (sound familiar?)
Add the other dry ingredients and sift or whisk them. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP!!
Slowly pour in the beer and mix until combined.
Pour half of the butter into a bread pan and spread it about. I like to break out my kitchen pastry brush for this, it impresses the children!
Dump the dough into the pan and drizzle the rest of the butter on top.
The original recipe calls for a half a cup of butter....feel free to go there, but it isn't necessary!
In a preheated 375* oven bake 45 minutes to 1 hour until center is done and crust is browned.
I made some homemade flour tortillas yesterday. (yes, we will eventually be talking about that here!)
We haven't had flour tortillas in months due to the fact that all of the store bought ones contain trans fat. boo hisssss
My youngest child ate a whole tortilla, went back for another and proclaimed them to be the best tortillas she ever had.
While I had my doubts about this, the next comment she made sealed it for me.
She said "mmm, mmm... I can taste the love"
And that my friends is why we should cook; so that our families and friends, and those in need can "taste the love".
Check back early next week for Chapter 4 of "The Saga"
Thursday, March 11, 2010
My Wedding Day: Chapter Three
Ah yes, we were to the actual ceremony part of the wedding weren't we!
I got to the front of the aisle turned around to face the guests and the wind immediately whipped the hem of my dress neatly onto the upward curve of the stabilizing foot on the (previously pictured) beautiful brass archway. Luckily we had tucked my veil into the ginormous bow on the back of my dress, so that never became an issue during the ceremony.
My mother, seated on the front row took notice of this right away. In fact I don't think she heard or saw another thing the entire wedding, she was so fixated on the fact that my dress was caught. I seem to remember her making strange gestures toward the wedding party, but figured it was just her way of coping with her middle child and only flesh and blood daughter getting hitched.
So, there I was caught and unaware.
The ceremony could have gone without a hitch, but, it didn't. While mild in comparison to previous and upcoming debacles, a hitch it was. The main problem (other than the wind and no one hearing a single word we said) was the ring portion of the program.
For some odd reason, that I cannot justify even to this day, we gave the job of ring bearer to my husbands youngest sister, an adorable little rough and tumble tomboy age 5. ( The flower girl job went to her equally adorable girly girl sister age 7.)
It all made sense at the time!
You know, adorable cuteness on each side of the wedding party to create visual balance.
They both seemed to have reservations about being in the wedding.
The younger because she would actually have to wear a dress and brush her hair, and the older because the dress was green and not purple. I left the job of dealing with that whole mess to their Mom. ( Still don't know what she bribed them with to make it all happen!)
Both of them ended up fighting their own battles with my children in each of their weddings so I guess we are even.
I have to throw in a photo here.
As you can see, the wind is blowing...a recurring theme. And there, my readers is my little sister in law.
Oh, I have so much I could tell you about her as a child, but am choosing to keep it to myself because she likes me right now and I wanna keep it that way. Especially since she is coming over this afternoon to help me with my children, who by the way are so similar to her in soooo many ways. Sigh, good memories!
She seemed to take her job pretty seriously and worked hard despite her inane nature for destruction and dirt to keep the rings safely on the pillow until they were needed.
Little did I know, she probably could have ridden on the back of a tractor with that little pillow tied to a rope dangling off of the back and they would have still been attached.
Whoever had the job of tying the rings on must have known her all too well and tied them on tight!!
I am fairly certain that the ceremony doubled its time just in ring removal.
Ok, maybe it wasn't that bad, but instead of a gentle tug, it took the maid of honor and the preacher to remove one ring, and in turn the best man and the preacher to remove the other.
Of course the ring did not go smoothly onto my dear husbands finger, but stopped at the first knuckle, drawing a chuckle from any guest who was close enough to see that. I think he encouraged it all the way onto his finger, but I don't recall when that was.
Meanwhile, still on the ranch. My mother is about to go into apoplexy with her attempts to draw someones attention to the fact that my dress was caught. I know she had slow motion visions of me stepping away and carrying the arch along with me, or dumping it over onto my head, or knocking out the preacher, or taking out my maid of honor. Who knows the number of scenarios she had cooked up by that time.
Somehow though, she must have made it clear to the preacher because during our "you may kiss the bride" kiss, he leaned over and tugged my dress free.
I was still clueless!
We made it through, sealed it with a kiss, were pronounced man and wife and headed down the aisle hand in hand to the absolutely perfect music I had chosen for this moment in time.
Well, that was what was supposed to have happened anyway...
...to be continued!
I got to the front of the aisle turned around to face the guests and the wind immediately whipped the hem of my dress neatly onto the upward curve of the stabilizing foot on the (previously pictured) beautiful brass archway. Luckily we had tucked my veil into the ginormous bow on the back of my dress, so that never became an issue during the ceremony.
My mother, seated on the front row took notice of this right away. In fact I don't think she heard or saw another thing the entire wedding, she was so fixated on the fact that my dress was caught. I seem to remember her making strange gestures toward the wedding party, but figured it was just her way of coping with her middle child and only flesh and blood daughter getting hitched.
So, there I was caught and unaware.
The ceremony could have gone without a hitch, but, it didn't. While mild in comparison to previous and upcoming debacles, a hitch it was. The main problem (other than the wind and no one hearing a single word we said) was the ring portion of the program.
For some odd reason, that I cannot justify even to this day, we gave the job of ring bearer to my husbands youngest sister, an adorable little rough and tumble tomboy age 5. ( The flower girl job went to her equally adorable girly girl sister age 7.)
It all made sense at the time!
You know, adorable cuteness on each side of the wedding party to create visual balance.
They both seemed to have reservations about being in the wedding.
The younger because she would actually have to wear a dress and brush her hair, and the older because the dress was green and not purple. I left the job of dealing with that whole mess to their Mom. ( Still don't know what she bribed them with to make it all happen!)
Both of them ended up fighting their own battles with my children in each of their weddings so I guess we are even.
I have to throw in a photo here.
As you can see, the wind is blowing...a recurring theme. And there, my readers is my little sister in law.Oh, I have so much I could tell you about her as a child, but am choosing to keep it to myself because she likes me right now and I wanna keep it that way. Especially since she is coming over this afternoon to help me with my children, who by the way are so similar to her in soooo many ways. Sigh, good memories!
She seemed to take her job pretty seriously and worked hard despite her inane nature for destruction and dirt to keep the rings safely on the pillow until they were needed.
Little did I know, she probably could have ridden on the back of a tractor with that little pillow tied to a rope dangling off of the back and they would have still been attached.
Whoever had the job of tying the rings on must have known her all too well and tied them on tight!!
I am fairly certain that the ceremony doubled its time just in ring removal.
Ok, maybe it wasn't that bad, but instead of a gentle tug, it took the maid of honor and the preacher to remove one ring, and in turn the best man and the preacher to remove the other.
Of course the ring did not go smoothly onto my dear husbands finger, but stopped at the first knuckle, drawing a chuckle from any guest who was close enough to see that. I think he encouraged it all the way onto his finger, but I don't recall when that was.
Meanwhile, still on the ranch. My mother is about to go into apoplexy with her attempts to draw someones attention to the fact that my dress was caught. I know she had slow motion visions of me stepping away and carrying the arch along with me, or dumping it over onto my head, or knocking out the preacher, or taking out my maid of honor. Who knows the number of scenarios she had cooked up by that time.
Somehow though, she must have made it clear to the preacher because during our "you may kiss the bride" kiss, he leaned over and tugged my dress free. I was still clueless!
We made it through, sealed it with a kiss, were pronounced man and wife and headed down the aisle hand in hand to the absolutely perfect music I had chosen for this moment in time.
Well, that was what was supposed to have happened anyway...
...to be continued!
Elusive fish
I am fairly certain that most of you won't care a hoot about my fish.
But, seeing as how it "pond life in my backyard" is right there under the title I decided I better throw a bit of that in while you are waiting for chapter three of the wedding saga.
I promise I am working on it!!
I must admit that I have a love/ hate relationship with my fish.
Here is the deal, for some strange reason I have an unreasonable fear of fish.
(I am assuming it was because I was viciously attacked by fish in my youth, but I am not willing to pay for an in-depth psychological analysis to find out for certain.)
Looking at them scares me a bit.
I know this is a personal oddity.
It must have been a really vicious attack!
On the other hand they are so fantastic to look at!
This may strike you as a bit of a conundrum...so be it!
Going to an aquarium is practically a life threatening adventure for me because I find myself equally horrified and fascinated with the glorious variety of fish and all of their colorful variance.
In an effort to feel less anxiety with fish, I try to be friendly with mine in the backyard.
Are you laughing at me?
I think I hear you sniggering!
That is okay, I have a strong constitution and can handle it.
Yes, I go out and feed them and try not to look them in the eye, because that really creeps me out...when they look at me...in the eye...shudder!
I am highly dissatisfied with my current camera and find myself taking shot after shot of my fish that look like this...
nice huh???
They are just so fast. That, combined with the delay on the digital camera make for frustrating picture taking situations.
This is a fairly new batch of fish which we got at the end of this last summer, as the other ones all got eaten or died. That is a whole 'nother post all its own!
These fish didn't seem to have the knack of coming to the surface when I approached to feed them, but have acquired it mysteriously just this week. It must be something deep within them, like salmon returning to spawn or something. Yeah, something like that.
So, I got the bright idea (duh) to shoot a little video and thereby escape the frustration of yet another missing fish photo!
I walked out, they came over to see me...nice fishey fishey, don't look at me as I get really close to video you in your natural habitat.
We currently have 10 fish.
Eight of these are from a chain store and cost .23c apiece with an average length of one and a half inches upon purchase. Most of these have no readily distinguishable features, but upon inspection a few have a couple of visual treasures to discover. I can't help but love the little white one with his orange helmet. He is usually one of the last to rise to the surface and I find myself waiting to see him before I leave to get on with my day.
Two of these fish came from a specialty store and cost more than I am willing to mention in a post about someone who fears fish. I chose to pay more for these as they were larger than an inch and a half and I was still in mourning of the good sized, recently deceased fish I had cultivated a liking for!!
One is a large greedy gray and white beauty which has a few orange spots, so that he is color coordinated with the other members of his family.
Another is a large orange one with a white underside and a beautiful swishy tail.
Here is their internet debut. It is kind of boring...but if this year is anything like last year, you will be hearing quite a bit about my fish and will need to have a ready reference!!
Did you hear that splash near the middle?
It was the large grey one trying his best to scare me.
He did.
I will have to work up the courage to go out there again!
Kidding,
I am kidding...
kind of.
But, seeing as how it "pond life in my backyard" is right there under the title I decided I better throw a bit of that in while you are waiting for chapter three of the wedding saga.
I promise I am working on it!!
I must admit that I have a love/ hate relationship with my fish.
Here is the deal, for some strange reason I have an unreasonable fear of fish.
(I am assuming it was because I was viciously attacked by fish in my youth, but I am not willing to pay for an in-depth psychological analysis to find out for certain.)
Looking at them scares me a bit.
I know this is a personal oddity.
It must have been a really vicious attack!
On the other hand they are so fantastic to look at!
This may strike you as a bit of a conundrum...so be it!
Going to an aquarium is practically a life threatening adventure for me because I find myself equally horrified and fascinated with the glorious variety of fish and all of their colorful variance.
In an effort to feel less anxiety with fish, I try to be friendly with mine in the backyard.
Are you laughing at me?
I think I hear you sniggering!
That is okay, I have a strong constitution and can handle it.
Yes, I go out and feed them and try not to look them in the eye, because that really creeps me out...when they look at me...in the eye...shudder!
I am highly dissatisfied with my current camera and find myself taking shot after shot of my fish that look like this...
nice huh???They are just so fast. That, combined with the delay on the digital camera make for frustrating picture taking situations.
This is a fairly new batch of fish which we got at the end of this last summer, as the other ones all got eaten or died. That is a whole 'nother post all its own!
These fish didn't seem to have the knack of coming to the surface when I approached to feed them, but have acquired it mysteriously just this week. It must be something deep within them, like salmon returning to spawn or something. Yeah, something like that.
So, I got the bright idea (duh) to shoot a little video and thereby escape the frustration of yet another missing fish photo!
I walked out, they came over to see me...nice fishey fishey, don't look at me as I get really close to video you in your natural habitat.
We currently have 10 fish.
Eight of these are from a chain store and cost .23c apiece with an average length of one and a half inches upon purchase. Most of these have no readily distinguishable features, but upon inspection a few have a couple of visual treasures to discover. I can't help but love the little white one with his orange helmet. He is usually one of the last to rise to the surface and I find myself waiting to see him before I leave to get on with my day.
Two of these fish came from a specialty store and cost more than I am willing to mention in a post about someone who fears fish. I chose to pay more for these as they were larger than an inch and a half and I was still in mourning of the good sized, recently deceased fish I had cultivated a liking for!!
One is a large greedy gray and white beauty which has a few orange spots, so that he is color coordinated with the other members of his family.
Another is a large orange one with a white underside and a beautiful swishy tail.
Here is their internet debut. It is kind of boring...but if this year is anything like last year, you will be hearing quite a bit about my fish and will need to have a ready reference!!
Did you hear that splash near the middle?
It was the large grey one trying his best to scare me.
He did.
I will have to work up the courage to go out there again!
Kidding,
I am kidding...
kind of.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Take the time to swoon!
The girl trembled with fear as the dastardly fellow maintained his hold on her delicate arm. Did he not care that he was bruising her with every jerk of his tightly clutched hand?
He couldn't possibly realize that any minute now her man was going to ride in on his stallion and commence to lay some harm on him.
She knew!
She had spent too many years with this man to doubt that he would waste any time coming to her rescue.
She glanced once more to the distance earnestly searching for some sign that her hero was on his way.
And, yes...there on the horizon a faint trail of dust was raising into the dismal overcast sky. Her heart raced, for she knew that safety and comfort were approaching as fast that powerful horse could carry him.
She recognized the seriousness which the line of his body carried as he leaned forward in the saddle racing headlong into whatever disaster lay ahead.
As usual his gun holster was strapped on his hip but the gun was already drawn ready to defend her.
He raced toward her and her captor with a fierceness about him; which she could tell he kept in check only for her benefit. The beat of the horses hooves came to an abrupt stop as he swiftly pulled up the horse directly in front of them.
Dust swirled and mingled with the heaviness of the impending rain.
With purpose he quickly dropped himself from the saddle to stand looking eye to eye with the man holding his wife. He looked that fellow with his steel blue eyes and commanded with a voice wrought with danger..."Unhand my bride or suffer the consequences!"
The fellow had never before met a man so intent on his conquest so he roughly thrust
the woman toward her man and high tailed it down the near by alley as quickly as he could in hopes that he could race away in time to escape harm. The woman lost her balance, but was swept up into the gentle but firm embrace of her husband as he caught her and saved her from not only falling, but the clutches of a man bent on harm.
Maybe he should have set her upright and then taken off after the fellow, but he didn't...he felt the need to stay right there and comfort her as she recovered her bearings. She swooned a bit, and found herself overwhelmed with thankfulness and love for this man...her protector, her rescuer. She gazed into his eyes, now calm and filled with love and met him for a kiss.
Doesn't this sound familiar from books and movies?
Woman in danger.
Man swoops in for rescue.
Good guy wins, bad guy looses.
Woman adores the man because he was willing to risk life and limb for her.
Don't get me wrong...I am not saying this is a bad scenario.
The drama of it is interesting to read, the action is exciting, the romance is wonderful.
My point today is this...
In our modern world there is not much opportunity for our man to ride in on the stallion and rescue us from the bad guy.
There are no bears to fight to save the smokehouse and stores for the winter.
There are no gunslingers bent on taking our land, or indians out for scalping.
There is no impending war to kiss him off for.
It is just the constant pressures of head into the office, regular monotonous day to day, living in suburbia.
(And I really am talking about no extenuating circumstances here!)
It is my opinion that man is designed to be a rescuer, made to be a protector.
What about this modern city life, go to work at an office and earn a living world that allows him to be a hero?
I worry that we don't see their heroic greatness because it is hidden so neatly in the folds of day to day living.
I submit to you that there are plenty of chances for him to be our hero, we just have to see it as such and be appreciative and loving when he does... and maybe even swoon a bit.
Here is an example.
Right now I am in the clutches of a dastardly fellow!
He is jerking me around and I am looking for my husband to rescue me.
The fellow...my HP office jet 5610. It is an printer. It isn't trying to be a bad guy, but it is not hooked up to the new computer yet and I am distressed and gazing into the distance waiting for some sign of my hero's dust trail.
I am pretty sure that this is not a difficult item to manage, but it is not in my range of capability! So, because of that I cannot scan pictures into the computer to further write about my wedding day saga. Come on... the visuals are important, right? Right!
I know that when I let my husband know of this problem, he will with purpose come eye to eye with this particular issue and solve it in a whirlwind of activity which I will not particularly comprehend. He will get it taken care of and then stand over my shoulder comforting me as I get my bearings and actually scan something to prove it is working correctly.
Did he have to loose his gun from the holster, no.
Did he have to race in on the stallion...well, no not unless driving home in his Hyundai counts. Did he have to threaten to do bodily harm????
uuuhhhh ....now that one I don't know about... we shall see.
But in the end he will have rescued me from the clutches of the bad guy. I think I should swoon! I think I should really let him know how thankful I am that he is my modern day protector, rescuer and hero.
I got to thinking about this last night as I paid attention to the little things my husband did when we were out together.
We were standing in the windblown rain and he stepped behind me to shield me from the worst of it.
He held my half empty water bottle for me for the better part of an hour in case I should need a drink.
We had to exit a shuttle bus and he stepped halfway out then turned to let me pass.
He diligently stood there ready to catch me should I misstep or stumble. (ahhh he knows me well)
He saw that my hair looked a little crazy from the rain and wind and offered me his ball cap. Ok, that one maybe doesn't factor in with the rest, but it did make me laugh when I was weary, so it gets thrown back in the batch.
How many dastardly fellows has my husband rescued me from in the 20 some years we have been together? How many times has he raced in as fast as his trusty stead could carry him to set things straight? How many troubles has he looked right in the eye and sent scurrying away in fear so that I might be safe?
I have a feeling it is way, way more than I have given him notice for. I have a feeling that this man will be heroic as I allow him to be, and I should give him ample opportunity as well as ample acknowledgment when he does.
Just a little something I have been thinking about!
He couldn't possibly realize that any minute now her man was going to ride in on his stallion and commence to lay some harm on him.
She knew!
She had spent too many years with this man to doubt that he would waste any time coming to her rescue.
She glanced once more to the distance earnestly searching for some sign that her hero was on his way.
And, yes...there on the horizon a faint trail of dust was raising into the dismal overcast sky. Her heart raced, for she knew that safety and comfort were approaching as fast that powerful horse could carry him.
She recognized the seriousness which the line of his body carried as he leaned forward in the saddle racing headlong into whatever disaster lay ahead.
As usual his gun holster was strapped on his hip but the gun was already drawn ready to defend her.
He raced toward her and her captor with a fierceness about him; which she could tell he kept in check only for her benefit. The beat of the horses hooves came to an abrupt stop as he swiftly pulled up the horse directly in front of them.
Dust swirled and mingled with the heaviness of the impending rain.
With purpose he quickly dropped himself from the saddle to stand looking eye to eye with the man holding his wife. He looked that fellow with his steel blue eyes and commanded with a voice wrought with danger..."Unhand my bride or suffer the consequences!"
The fellow had never before met a man so intent on his conquest so he roughly thrust
the woman toward her man and high tailed it down the near by alley as quickly as he could in hopes that he could race away in time to escape harm. The woman lost her balance, but was swept up into the gentle but firm embrace of her husband as he caught her and saved her from not only falling, but the clutches of a man bent on harm.
Maybe he should have set her upright and then taken off after the fellow, but he didn't...he felt the need to stay right there and comfort her as she recovered her bearings. She swooned a bit, and found herself overwhelmed with thankfulness and love for this man...her protector, her rescuer. She gazed into his eyes, now calm and filled with love and met him for a kiss.
Doesn't this sound familiar from books and movies?
Woman in danger.
Man swoops in for rescue.
Good guy wins, bad guy looses.
Woman adores the man because he was willing to risk life and limb for her.
Don't get me wrong...I am not saying this is a bad scenario.
The drama of it is interesting to read, the action is exciting, the romance is wonderful.
My point today is this...
In our modern world there is not much opportunity for our man to ride in on the stallion and rescue us from the bad guy.
There are no bears to fight to save the smokehouse and stores for the winter.
There are no gunslingers bent on taking our land, or indians out for scalping.
There is no impending war to kiss him off for.
It is just the constant pressures of head into the office, regular monotonous day to day, living in suburbia.
(And I really am talking about no extenuating circumstances here!)
It is my opinion that man is designed to be a rescuer, made to be a protector.
What about this modern city life, go to work at an office and earn a living world that allows him to be a hero?
I worry that we don't see their heroic greatness because it is hidden so neatly in the folds of day to day living.
I submit to you that there are plenty of chances for him to be our hero, we just have to see it as such and be appreciative and loving when he does... and maybe even swoon a bit.
Here is an example.
Right now I am in the clutches of a dastardly fellow!
He is jerking me around and I am looking for my husband to rescue me.
The fellow...my HP office jet 5610. It is an printer. It isn't trying to be a bad guy, but it is not hooked up to the new computer yet and I am distressed and gazing into the distance waiting for some sign of my hero's dust trail.
I am pretty sure that this is not a difficult item to manage, but it is not in my range of capability! So, because of that I cannot scan pictures into the computer to further write about my wedding day saga. Come on... the visuals are important, right? Right!
I know that when I let my husband know of this problem, he will with purpose come eye to eye with this particular issue and solve it in a whirlwind of activity which I will not particularly comprehend. He will get it taken care of and then stand over my shoulder comforting me as I get my bearings and actually scan something to prove it is working correctly.
Did he have to loose his gun from the holster, no.
Did he have to race in on the stallion...well, no not unless driving home in his Hyundai counts. Did he have to threaten to do bodily harm????
uuuhhhh ....now that one I don't know about... we shall see.
But in the end he will have rescued me from the clutches of the bad guy. I think I should swoon! I think I should really let him know how thankful I am that he is my modern day protector, rescuer and hero.
I got to thinking about this last night as I paid attention to the little things my husband did when we were out together.
We were standing in the windblown rain and he stepped behind me to shield me from the worst of it.
He held my half empty water bottle for me for the better part of an hour in case I should need a drink.
We had to exit a shuttle bus and he stepped halfway out then turned to let me pass.
He diligently stood there ready to catch me should I misstep or stumble. (ahhh he knows me well)
He saw that my hair looked a little crazy from the rain and wind and offered me his ball cap. Ok, that one maybe doesn't factor in with the rest, but it did make me laugh when I was weary, so it gets thrown back in the batch.
How many dastardly fellows has my husband rescued me from in the 20 some years we have been together? How many times has he raced in as fast as his trusty stead could carry him to set things straight? How many troubles has he looked right in the eye and sent scurrying away in fear so that I might be safe?
I have a feeling it is way, way more than I have given him notice for. I have a feeling that this man will be heroic as I allow him to be, and I should give him ample opportunity as well as ample acknowledgment when he does.
Just a little something I have been thinking about!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
My Wedding Day: Chapter Two
A widget is a computer thingy that you can add to your blog to make it cooler. I know that is stating it simply...get used to it...I tend to talk that way about things I know nothing about.
I would like to say that a widget is a frightening thing for me.
I know it doesn't sound very scary, but when a widget tutorial asks you to go to the Html and find the line that says
<<< >b dir oops what wasllll she shingkiing trying tochange stuff>>>
and insert this long page of more arrows and mysterious words into a certain place...well my poor little artist pea brain pretty much goes into shut down mode!
The only reason I even know where to find the Html is that it is plainly marked in a tab, and underlined!! duh (and I might also possibly know because I may have accidentally clicked on it one day and freaked out until I accidentally clicked on something else to get back to a normal screen)
Someday when I am feeling brave I want to install a tabs widget, and an archive list widget and a something else that pulls all the colors of my blog together nicely widget!
But, sigh....until then you are just gonna have to scroll through or make chance clicking guesses to find particular things you may need. Ignorance is not bliss!
I knew I could get away with that little rant seeing as how I made sure you plainly knew this post was a continuation of the wedding saga right there in the title! I know that is taking advantage, and...I feel mildly ashamed. Actually I don't really feel ashamed at all but did feel like it was the appropriate thing to say.
Does it feel like I am stalling? Why, I think in a Freudian sort of way that might just be the case.
Do you wish I would just get on with the story?
Ok, okay! Let's see where were we?
Ah yes, I was in blissful ignorance of the musical malady that had just taken place and I was readying myself to walk down the aisle upon the visual signal from a willing wedding participant.
Meanwhile....back at the ranch...(hee hee it was a ranch by the way). My accompanist had just tortured my wedding guests with an interesting 2 finger tune, finished up with a bang, and quickly prepared to (with some shred of dignity... somehow) get through the next song.
She prepped the music, made sure it was stable took a deep breath and began playing.
The song was one my sweet boyfriend, at the time, had put on a cassette tape for me! A good ole Statler Brothers tune entitled My Only Love.
Oh, I really really hope that at some time in your youth a boy made a cassette tape for you filled with the perfect songs that made you think just of him whenever you played it!! I still have mine, though I don't think I actually have anywhere that I could play it. hmmmm
The title ended up being the same line of words my then sweet fiance inscribed in my wedding band. So, it was pretty special to me!
Well, in all the hubbub of the previous catastrophe one little tiny something didn't get taken care of.
It was such a small thing...
I probably shouldn't mention it....
But....
I have to.
What she forgot to do... was change the key she was playing in.
The couple singing had practiced the song almost a whole octave lower!
AAAAAHHHHHHH, It was outrageously high and ended sounding more like a twisted funeral dirge than a romantic, bride coming down the aisle song. My poor singers shrieked and stretched their voices trying ever so hard to play the best hand with the cards they had been dealt.
But it was painful, really and truly painful.
Sigh,
laugh,
groan.
Truthfully, in the moment...I thought it sounded a bit odd,what I could hear of it anyway with the wind whipping about me. I also attribute it to the fact that I was a bit stunned that I was actually walking down the aisle to be married and I didn't in my blissfulness, think much more of it.
Besides, it was now ME walking down the cow trampled terrain trying not to bust it in my wedding dress. Can you think of anything that could possibly be worse than actually falling down in your wedding dress??? Oh, I shudder to even contemplate the thought.
Seeing as how I am a good full inch taller than my man, I was wearing flats, and didn't have quite the stress my lovely bridesmaids had. I made it all the way to my waiting groom, the dreadful song ended and we were set to begin the ceremony. Whew!!
The wind immediately whipped the hem of my dress neatly onto the upward curve of the stabilizing foot on the (previously pictured) beautiful brass archway.
I never moved from my set position during the whole ceremony, so I had NO idea that my dress was stuck there.... to be continued!
Well, I think this is where I have to end today.
I wanted to post another picture of me walking down the aisle, but our scanner isn't hooked to the computer thingy right....or something. Gotta ask my sweetie to check that out tomorrow!
Well, I know that portion didn't seem soooo bad right?
You will have to take my word for it, it gets worse! Much, much worse!!
Tune in later this week for another chapter in my wedding day saga!
I would like to say that a widget is a frightening thing for me.
I know it doesn't sound very scary, but when a widget tutorial asks you to go to the Html and find the line that says
<<< >b dir oops what wasllll she shingkiing trying tochange stuff>>>
and insert this long page of more arrows and mysterious words into a certain place...well my poor little artist pea brain pretty much goes into shut down mode!
The only reason I even know where to find the Html is that it is plainly marked in a tab, and underlined!! duh (and I might also possibly know because I may have accidentally clicked on it one day and freaked out until I accidentally clicked on something else to get back to a normal screen)
Someday when I am feeling brave I want to install a tabs widget, and an archive list widget and a something else that pulls all the colors of my blog together nicely widget!
But, sigh....until then you are just gonna have to scroll through or make chance clicking guesses to find particular things you may need. Ignorance is not bliss!
I knew I could get away with that little rant seeing as how I made sure you plainly knew this post was a continuation of the wedding saga right there in the title! I know that is taking advantage, and...I feel mildly ashamed. Actually I don't really feel ashamed at all but did feel like it was the appropriate thing to say.
Does it feel like I am stalling? Why, I think in a Freudian sort of way that might just be the case.
Do you wish I would just get on with the story?
Ok, okay! Let's see where were we?
Ah yes, I was in blissful ignorance of the musical malady that had just taken place and I was readying myself to walk down the aisle upon the visual signal from a willing wedding participant.
Meanwhile....back at the ranch...(hee hee it was a ranch by the way). My accompanist had just tortured my wedding guests with an interesting 2 finger tune, finished up with a bang, and quickly prepared to (with some shred of dignity... somehow) get through the next song.
She prepped the music, made sure it was stable took a deep breath and began playing.
The song was one my sweet boyfriend, at the time, had put on a cassette tape for me! A good ole Statler Brothers tune entitled My Only Love.
Oh, I really really hope that at some time in your youth a boy made a cassette tape for you filled with the perfect songs that made you think just of him whenever you played it!! I still have mine, though I don't think I actually have anywhere that I could play it. hmmmm
The title ended up being the same line of words my then sweet fiance inscribed in my wedding band. So, it was pretty special to me!
Well, in all the hubbub of the previous catastrophe one little tiny something didn't get taken care of.
It was such a small thing...
I probably shouldn't mention it....
But....
I have to.
What she forgot to do... was change the key she was playing in.
The couple singing had practiced the song almost a whole octave lower!
AAAAAHHHHHHH, It was outrageously high and ended sounding more like a twisted funeral dirge than a romantic, bride coming down the aisle song. My poor singers shrieked and stretched their voices trying ever so hard to play the best hand with the cards they had been dealt.
But it was painful, really and truly painful.
Sigh,
laugh,
groan.
Truthfully, in the moment...I thought it sounded a bit odd,what I could hear of it anyway with the wind whipping about me. I also attribute it to the fact that I was a bit stunned that I was actually walking down the aisle to be married and I didn't in my blissfulness, think much more of it.
Besides, it was now ME walking down the cow trampled terrain trying not to bust it in my wedding dress. Can you think of anything that could possibly be worse than actually falling down in your wedding dress??? Oh, I shudder to even contemplate the thought.
Seeing as how I am a good full inch taller than my man, I was wearing flats, and didn't have quite the stress my lovely bridesmaids had. I made it all the way to my waiting groom, the dreadful song ended and we were set to begin the ceremony. Whew!!
The wind immediately whipped the hem of my dress neatly onto the upward curve of the stabilizing foot on the (previously pictured) beautiful brass archway.
I never moved from my set position during the whole ceremony, so I had NO idea that my dress was stuck there.... to be continued!
Well, I think this is where I have to end today.
I wanted to post another picture of me walking down the aisle, but our scanner isn't hooked to the computer thingy right....or something. Gotta ask my sweetie to check that out tomorrow!
Well, I know that portion didn't seem soooo bad right?
You will have to take my word for it, it gets worse! Much, much worse!!
Tune in later this week for another chapter in my wedding day saga!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
My Wedding Day: Chapter One
I want to write today about something funny. Something to give you a chuckle, for sticking with me after yesterdays tough post.
I want to write about my wedding day! It was all that I wanted it to be
...and oooohhhhhh so much more!
(that is to be read with sarcasm dripping from it, to the point of drenching you fully)
Let's see...where to begin??
How about the setting? Yeah, that is a good place to start.
I will give you a few old, bad quality photos so you don't have to imagine it and I don't have to do a bang up job describing it!
That will save us both some effort!
Here you have what the audience would be seeing. The late 80's and early 90's were full of poofs and tulle. I took part, as you can see! Go ahead, click on the picture to see it better...it is pretty bad!! (Take note of what is in this photo, you will be needing it for later reference!)
And there below, a shot looking toward the audience area. Is audience the appropriate word?
I dunno, but I will just stick with it.
The location was a freshly mowed cow field at the base of a mountain in Montana! Pretty cool for a girl who had lived most of her life below sea level in southern Louisiana!
I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.
The weather was absolutely gorgeous! The sun was doing its thing, sparkling there in the seemingly never ending big Montana sky. There was a gentle breeze, the temperature was moderate and dry. Not a cloud in the sky!
Yes, it was perfect.
Perfect the day before the wedding!!!
The day of the wedding would be described more like this...
The sun was doing its thing, sparkling there in the seemingly never ending big Montana sky. There was gusting wind, the temperature was moderate and dry. Not a cloud in the sky!
Did you see the little change there.
Gusting wind is something of a problem for an outdoor wedding.
Oh, yes it is and I have the memories to prove it!! We will visit all of that in time.
Like every other girl I have ever known of, I took the time to plan this affair down to the last detail.
I think planning is good.
I think learning to laugh when the plan doesn't work out...is even better.
Let's skip the details of the boring parts where things went according to plan and get right to the entertainment. As far as I know everything went just fine, right up until the actual ceremony!
Laugh,
groan,
sigh....
Music was playing, a simple free flowing uncomplicated song from the girl who I had begged to come and play her keyboard at my wedding. ( We were on a very very tight budget, and I am sure I begged her until she finally threw her hands up and agreed. The songs I wanted really needed instrumental backup.)
So, she played. Creating drama where she wanted; going slower or faster, she wasn't using any sheet music at this point... just winging it... and it was nice!
All of the family walked slowly in to be seated. Right down the cow trampled uneven, newly mowed,
...really?
aaahhhhh!
cringe!
please, please don't anyone... especially my soon to be mother- in- law stumble... ground.
Remember the hair styles of that era? I know this seems like a bit of a jump in the story, but it is a valid point that needs to be made!
Big hair was still a necessity, and if it was wavy...that was all the better! Can't remember, click here for a truly awful example!
While no one in my family or wedding party looked like their hair was fried, most of them did have big hair, that continually blew in their faces for the 36 some minutes it took for the ceremony to happen, not to mention trying to get through cake and punch and the post ceremony festivities.
Well, I have never been one to be on top of the trends, no not me!
Nope, no fluffy poofed out hair for me.
No, I had a mullet!
Exhibit A:
Bhhaaaaha ha ha ha! What was I thinking? Well, one good thing...my hair didn't blow in my face all day! So there!
You know, now that I think about it...all of the groomsmen had mullets....hmmmmm I wonder if they remember that?
Okay, back to the ceremony! All of the family was seated and now was time for the wedding party to float gracefully down the aisle to take their positions.
Uuuuhhhh yeah right!
There is not a person I know of who can walk gracefully, in heels, in a cow pasture.
Sorry girls!
I had chosen the song, Friends are Friends Forever for this portion of the ceremony.
Just as planned the bridesmaids and groomsmen assembled near the back to walk in and the song began.
My girls walked with some trepidation, clinging tightly to the arm of the young man who was chosen to accompany them. Stepping carefully, trying to keep their hair from covering their eyes as they tried to maintain balance on the uneven terrain.
All the while my soloist bravely sang as loudly as he could trying to overcome the wind which carried away his beautiful notes as quickly as he could belt them out.
Oh, yes...the wind carried away a lot of things this day!
The most horrifying of all, was when it snatched the sheet music away from my struggling accompanist.
Suddenly... the beautiful song changed from a melody rich, lovely, meaningful tune to
my poor soloist continuing his brave singing...
with a high pitched, two finger, wishful thinking maybe no one will notice that I have stopped playing the actual music as someone races across the lawn to grab the sheet music and put it back in front of me... tune.
deee doooo
deeeee doooo
deeeeee doooooo
deee doooo
deeeeee
dooooo deeeee
dooooo
deee doooo de do de do
deeee doooo
deedoo de do de do deeee doooo the same two high pitched notes over and over and over again.
....until finally they got back on track for the big ending!
aaaannnnd Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them, and a friend will not say never 'cause the welcome will not end.
They did wrap it up nicely, but boy... were they both shook up!
Me?? I couldn't hear a thing! I was way back around the back of the ranch house waiting for my visual signal to come out. I sure couldn't rely on auditory clues seeing as how the wind had a way of stealing away that option. I had no idea of the disaster that had just ensued, nor the reason why disaster was about to happen.
Laugh,
groan,
sigh.
Well, it gets worse.
Yes, it does.
Much, much worse!
And I will tell you all about it... on another day!
Those of you who know this story, be patient and don't give away any juicy details ok?!?!
I want to write about my wedding day! It was all that I wanted it to be
...and oooohhhhhh so much more!
(that is to be read with sarcasm dripping from it, to the point of drenching you fully)
Let's see...where to begin??
How about the setting? Yeah, that is a good place to start.
I will give you a few old, bad quality photos so you don't have to imagine it and I don't have to do a bang up job describing it!
That will save us both some effort!
Here you have what the audience would be seeing. The late 80's and early 90's were full of poofs and tulle. I took part, as you can see! Go ahead, click on the picture to see it better...it is pretty bad!! (Take note of what is in this photo, you will be needing it for later reference!)And there below, a shot looking toward the audience area. Is audience the appropriate word?
I dunno, but I will just stick with it.
The location was a freshly mowed cow field at the base of a mountain in Montana! Pretty cool for a girl who had lived most of her life below sea level in southern Louisiana!
I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.
The weather was absolutely gorgeous! The sun was doing its thing, sparkling there in the seemingly never ending big Montana sky. There was a gentle breeze, the temperature was moderate and dry. Not a cloud in the sky!
Yes, it was perfect.
Perfect the day before the wedding!!!
The day of the wedding would be described more like this...
The sun was doing its thing, sparkling there in the seemingly never ending big Montana sky. There was gusting wind, the temperature was moderate and dry. Not a cloud in the sky!
Did you see the little change there.
Gusting wind is something of a problem for an outdoor wedding.
Oh, yes it is and I have the memories to prove it!! We will visit all of that in time.
Like every other girl I have ever known of, I took the time to plan this affair down to the last detail.
I think planning is good.
I think learning to laugh when the plan doesn't work out...is even better.
Let's skip the details of the boring parts where things went according to plan and get right to the entertainment. As far as I know everything went just fine, right up until the actual ceremony!
Laugh,
groan,
sigh....
Music was playing, a simple free flowing uncomplicated song from the girl who I had begged to come and play her keyboard at my wedding. ( We were on a very very tight budget, and I am sure I begged her until she finally threw her hands up and agreed. The songs I wanted really needed instrumental backup.)
So, she played. Creating drama where she wanted; going slower or faster, she wasn't using any sheet music at this point... just winging it... and it was nice!
All of the family walked slowly in to be seated. Right down the cow trampled uneven, newly mowed,
...really?
aaahhhhh!
cringe!
please, please don't anyone... especially my soon to be mother- in- law stumble... ground.
Remember the hair styles of that era? I know this seems like a bit of a jump in the story, but it is a valid point that needs to be made!
Big hair was still a necessity, and if it was wavy...that was all the better! Can't remember, click here for a truly awful example!
While no one in my family or wedding party looked like their hair was fried, most of them did have big hair, that continually blew in their faces for the 36 some minutes it took for the ceremony to happen, not to mention trying to get through cake and punch and the post ceremony festivities.
Well, I have never been one to be on top of the trends, no not me!
Nope, no fluffy poofed out hair for me.
No, I had a mullet!
Exhibit A:
Bhhaaaaha ha ha ha! What was I thinking? Well, one good thing...my hair didn't blow in my face all day! So there!
You know, now that I think about it...all of the groomsmen had mullets....hmmmmm I wonder if they remember that?
Okay, back to the ceremony! All of the family was seated and now was time for the wedding party to float gracefully down the aisle to take their positions.
Uuuuhhhh yeah right!
There is not a person I know of who can walk gracefully, in heels, in a cow pasture.
Sorry girls!
I had chosen the song, Friends are Friends Forever for this portion of the ceremony.
Just as planned the bridesmaids and groomsmen assembled near the back to walk in and the song began.
My girls walked with some trepidation, clinging tightly to the arm of the young man who was chosen to accompany them. Stepping carefully, trying to keep their hair from covering their eyes as they tried to maintain balance on the uneven terrain.
All the while my soloist bravely sang as loudly as he could trying to overcome the wind which carried away his beautiful notes as quickly as he could belt them out.
Oh, yes...the wind carried away a lot of things this day!
The most horrifying of all, was when it snatched the sheet music away from my struggling accompanist.
Suddenly... the beautiful song changed from a melody rich, lovely, meaningful tune to
my poor soloist continuing his brave singing...
with a high pitched, two finger, wishful thinking maybe no one will notice that I have stopped playing the actual music as someone races across the lawn to grab the sheet music and put it back in front of me... tune.
deee doooo
deeeee doooo
deeeeee doooooo
deee doooo
deeeeee
dooooo deeeee
dooooo
deee doooo de do de do
deeee doooo
deedoo de do de do deeee doooo the same two high pitched notes over and over and over again.
....until finally they got back on track for the big ending!
aaaannnnd Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them, and a friend will not say never 'cause the welcome will not end.
They did wrap it up nicely, but boy... were they both shook up!
Me?? I couldn't hear a thing! I was way back around the back of the ranch house waiting for my visual signal to come out. I sure couldn't rely on auditory clues seeing as how the wind had a way of stealing away that option. I had no idea of the disaster that had just ensued, nor the reason why disaster was about to happen.
Laugh,
groan,
sigh.
Well, it gets worse.
Yes, it does.
Much, much worse!
And I will tell you all about it... on another day!
Those of you who know this story, be patient and don't give away any juicy details ok?!?!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Breathing Freely
Debt is a burden that takes a hold of you gently and then slowly squeezes you until the feeling of suffocation is a constant companion. It can wrap its unforgiving arms about you in such a way that you are lulled into accepting the uncomfortableness of it as a natural part of daily life. It can deceive you into believing that it cannot be conquered.
Today is the day to decide different. Today is the day to take a firm grasp on the cold hands of debt and pry them off of your tender throat so that you can breathe freely again. Oh it will bring a new feeling of discomfort, yes it will. Fight through that feeling and press on toward full deep breathing freedom.
Here is my story leading to that freedom. It is a road I still trudge down, but one that is leading to deep breaths of thankfulness and the wild abandon of trust. I hope you realize it is a baring of a little bit of my inner self and that you are kind to me when you see parts of me that I am reluctant to share.
In our home we have only one balance carrying credit card.
The statement from 02/11/09 showed a new balance of $9,610.23. Wow!
How did we come to this point?
Well, let me assure you it wasn't from exotic vacations, new furniture, or extravagant purchases. This was years and years of accumulated school expenses, medical emergencies, car parts...you know, basic disaster relief. If the money isn't there, it isn't there. I know that you know what I am talking about!!
The husband and I sat down to work through the budget and decided that the time had come to get rid of this debt. Oh, boy! Just how many times had we sat down to decide that the time had come to get rid of debt??? Don't ask...I couldn't really tell you anyway.
So, anyway...I am not talking about using a small delicate chisel here, but knocking it out with sledgehammer strokes, meant to do damage.
So, February through May I hit it hard!!
As the household bookkeeper, it was my task to make the monthly payment. I diligently logged on and grudgingly paid the agreed upon amount. Yes, I admit it was grudgingly. I had agreed to the financial plan but my heart wasn't in it.
I am a bit of an immediate gratification kind of gal, and this just wasn't doing it for me. My heart seized up and I was a tiny bit angry every month as I paid that bill.
May rolled around and it was time to transfer our balance to another 0% interest rate card...oh yes we were so wise and never paid interest on this huge chunk of money.
The balance in May...$7300.00.
What??? You aren't impressed with the progress? You thought since I was paying diligently and monthly that there was going to be some serious change here?? On the other hand, maybe you are thinking WOW, that is some big change there...way to go. (That is the lull you are feeling...fight it!!)
Well I was, in my ignorance, plenty happy and continued to pay my agreed upon amount! At the time, I thought this amount was huge! In reality it was just over the minimum payment due. The balance transfer had put us with a credit card whose minimum payment was a much higher percentage than the last, so the progress remained slow!
Then came August.
New balance $6460.00.
Hey, hey....look at us, making big progress right!?! A full 7 months had passed and I had only whittled away just over $3,000.00. I say "I" because it is me clicking the pay button each month. Me who handles the outgo of over 90% of our monthly income. It is part of my stay at home mom duties, and I am okay with that!
My dear husband gently pointed out that at this rate it would be another 30 months to payoff.
He is so very patient with me. This precious man who I married almost 20 years ago. This man who trusts me and leaves the business of handling his hard earned income to my ignorant hard hearted hands. Don't think I am down on myself, fact is fact!
Wait a minute....did he just say 30 months!
I got to thinking about that in my right brain slow to figure math kind of way!
12 months in a year x 2 = 24 + 6 additional months...so let's see that would be TWO AND A HALF more years until pay off!!!
Two and half more years logging on and grudgingly, but proudly paying this over the minimum payment.
No! That just would not do. Something had to change, and that something was me! It was my unwillingness to sacrifice. My inability to think toward what the future would be like without this payment. Typing today...and thinking retrospectively... a belief that this money was mine to begin with instead of remembering that the Lord provides our every need and that every dollar owed to debt was one that could not potentially be used for His purpose.
Finally after the better part of a year, I was ready to throw myself into this with fervor.
What changed inside me, I don't know. Maybe it was because I had just had a birthday and matured a bit. Maybe it was an effort to please my hard working husband who for years had been trying to get me to realize these very things. Maybe I could finally see a bit of a flicker of that illusive light at the end of the tunnel.
It was time to bite the bullet and really pull out the sledgehammer. Time to stop wanting to pay off the debt and start action to really make it happen. We juggled numbers again, pushed and pulled, cut back yet again on the home-front and set out to make it happen.
The first huge payment was horrifying to make. I seriously hesitated before clicking the "pay now" button. It was frightening to pay that much money at the beginning of the month to one place with no immediate tangible gain in return.
My mind started whirling, my stomach started churning! What if something happened at the end of the month and we didn't have any money to pay for it because I had already paid so very much to this credit card????
Something in me paused and sent me in search of answers.
Hands down...THE best place to find answers... is in the Bible.
I did some studying and soul searching and decided to fight back the personal fear by also raising our charitable contribution. If we had enough money to pay fear raising amounts to a debt owed, then we had enough money to give more to kingdom goals.
Crazy you say...yes maybe so, but if I say I trust in a God who can take care of my needs, then I needed to live that way too.
Reading in 2 Corinthians 9 about the promises of giving, I had scrawled in the margin..."If I don't have it, then I don't need it, if I need it God will supply it." As well as "You will always be rich enough in God to be generous". While I know this passage is relating to sowing of seed and harvesting righteousness, it is also about giving cheerfully and allowing God to give to you abundantly as you work in His kingdom.
Was this a test for God? No, not at all. It was sincere trust. A trust that God is a promise keeper, and when we commit to His ways, he blesses us.
As of 03/02/10 our credit card balance is $0.00!!
I don't write this post for accolades (I make chocolate desserts for that!). I don't write it to pat myself on the back, or point out how great my money management skills are. Because frankly...they just aren't!! Oh how you would cringe seeing my little notebook filled with my monthly money juggling madness. I still have so very far to go in getting to where I need to be with God's money.
I write this to acknowledge that God is our provider! God allows the increase and causes the change in heart to seek to do better.
I must admit that I am hooked on this paying things off gig! Next up, Lord willing...our vehicles. I earnestly pray that should the Lord decide that money needs to be put toward something else that He will also provide me the heart to see it, and the gentle spirit to trust His will.
Today is the day to decide different. Today is the day to take a firm grasp on the cold hands of debt and pry them off of your tender throat so that you can breathe freely again. Oh it will bring a new feeling of discomfort, yes it will. Fight through that feeling and press on toward full deep breathing freedom.
Here is my story leading to that freedom. It is a road I still trudge down, but one that is leading to deep breaths of thankfulness and the wild abandon of trust. I hope you realize it is a baring of a little bit of my inner self and that you are kind to me when you see parts of me that I am reluctant to share.
In our home we have only one balance carrying credit card.
The statement from 02/11/09 showed a new balance of $9,610.23. Wow!
How did we come to this point?
Well, let me assure you it wasn't from exotic vacations, new furniture, or extravagant purchases. This was years and years of accumulated school expenses, medical emergencies, car parts...you know, basic disaster relief. If the money isn't there, it isn't there. I know that you know what I am talking about!!
The husband and I sat down to work through the budget and decided that the time had come to get rid of this debt. Oh, boy! Just how many times had we sat down to decide that the time had come to get rid of debt??? Don't ask...I couldn't really tell you anyway.
So, anyway...I am not talking about using a small delicate chisel here, but knocking it out with sledgehammer strokes, meant to do damage.
So, February through May I hit it hard!!
As the household bookkeeper, it was my task to make the monthly payment. I diligently logged on and grudgingly paid the agreed upon amount. Yes, I admit it was grudgingly. I had agreed to the financial plan but my heart wasn't in it.
I am a bit of an immediate gratification kind of gal, and this just wasn't doing it for me. My heart seized up and I was a tiny bit angry every month as I paid that bill.
May rolled around and it was time to transfer our balance to another 0% interest rate card...oh yes we were so wise and never paid interest on this huge chunk of money.
The balance in May...$7300.00.
What??? You aren't impressed with the progress? You thought since I was paying diligently and monthly that there was going to be some serious change here?? On the other hand, maybe you are thinking WOW, that is some big change there...way to go. (That is the lull you are feeling...fight it!!)
Well I was, in my ignorance, plenty happy and continued to pay my agreed upon amount! At the time, I thought this amount was huge! In reality it was just over the minimum payment due. The balance transfer had put us with a credit card whose minimum payment was a much higher percentage than the last, so the progress remained slow!
Then came August.
New balance $6460.00.
Hey, hey....look at us, making big progress right!?! A full 7 months had passed and I had only whittled away just over $3,000.00. I say "I" because it is me clicking the pay button each month. Me who handles the outgo of over 90% of our monthly income. It is part of my stay at home mom duties, and I am okay with that!
My dear husband gently pointed out that at this rate it would be another 30 months to payoff.
He is so very patient with me. This precious man who I married almost 20 years ago. This man who trusts me and leaves the business of handling his hard earned income to my ignorant hard hearted hands. Don't think I am down on myself, fact is fact!
Wait a minute....did he just say 30 months!
I got to thinking about that in my right brain slow to figure math kind of way!
12 months in a year x 2 = 24 + 6 additional months...so let's see that would be TWO AND A HALF more years until pay off!!!
Two and half more years logging on and grudgingly, but proudly paying this over the minimum payment.
No! That just would not do. Something had to change, and that something was me! It was my unwillingness to sacrifice. My inability to think toward what the future would be like without this payment. Typing today...and thinking retrospectively... a belief that this money was mine to begin with instead of remembering that the Lord provides our every need and that every dollar owed to debt was one that could not potentially be used for His purpose.
Finally after the better part of a year, I was ready to throw myself into this with fervor.
What changed inside me, I don't know. Maybe it was because I had just had a birthday and matured a bit. Maybe it was an effort to please my hard working husband who for years had been trying to get me to realize these very things. Maybe I could finally see a bit of a flicker of that illusive light at the end of the tunnel.
It was time to bite the bullet and really pull out the sledgehammer. Time to stop wanting to pay off the debt and start action to really make it happen. We juggled numbers again, pushed and pulled, cut back yet again on the home-front and set out to make it happen.
The first huge payment was horrifying to make. I seriously hesitated before clicking the "pay now" button. It was frightening to pay that much money at the beginning of the month to one place with no immediate tangible gain in return.
My mind started whirling, my stomach started churning! What if something happened at the end of the month and we didn't have any money to pay for it because I had already paid so very much to this credit card????
Something in me paused and sent me in search of answers.
Hands down...THE best place to find answers... is in the Bible.
I did some studying and soul searching and decided to fight back the personal fear by also raising our charitable contribution. If we had enough money to pay fear raising amounts to a debt owed, then we had enough money to give more to kingdom goals.
Crazy you say...yes maybe so, but if I say I trust in a God who can take care of my needs, then I needed to live that way too.
Reading in 2 Corinthians 9 about the promises of giving, I had scrawled in the margin..."If I don't have it, then I don't need it, if I need it God will supply it." As well as "You will always be rich enough in God to be generous". While I know this passage is relating to sowing of seed and harvesting righteousness, it is also about giving cheerfully and allowing God to give to you abundantly as you work in His kingdom.
Was this a test for God? No, not at all. It was sincere trust. A trust that God is a promise keeper, and when we commit to His ways, he blesses us.
As of 03/02/10 our credit card balance is $0.00!!
I don't write this post for accolades (I make chocolate desserts for that!). I don't write it to pat myself on the back, or point out how great my money management skills are. Because frankly...they just aren't!! Oh how you would cringe seeing my little notebook filled with my monthly money juggling madness. I still have so very far to go in getting to where I need to be with God's money.
I write this to acknowledge that God is our provider! God allows the increase and causes the change in heart to seek to do better.
I must admit that I am hooked on this paying things off gig! Next up, Lord willing...our vehicles. I earnestly pray that should the Lord decide that money needs to be put toward something else that He will also provide me the heart to see it, and the gentle spirit to trust His will.
Not what I came to write about...oh well.
You maybe have heard the quote "If you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all." While it may not totally apply here, that is how I have felt the past couple of days. I have remained uninspired, and therefore unmotivated to write.
I know too well the overwhelming uneasiness which comes from attempting to create something with no inherent zeal to propel forward action. I have no deadline here except that which I create in my own mind, which is kind of nice.
I think finishing up my latest drawing assignment took it out of me a bit. Hitting that deadline is always a relief!
I am so very thankful and humbled after years and years (and years) of having an art degree to finally be using it in a professional capacity. Oh, don't get me wrong...I have done some artwork in the years since my 1993 graduation. Countless made from scratch hand painted bags as baby shower gifts when I was too poor to actually purchase a gift. Intricate murals on walls of friends, little drawn notes scribbled in thanks, paintings and drawings for friends and family. And who can forget VBS? The hours and hours of work on vacation bible school projects. That one is mind numbing, truly!
So, here is a shout out to Varsity China, and Brandy for giving me an opportunity to make the paper my degree is printed on...
worth something...
... finally!
When you visit the website check out the State of Texas series. It is totally gorgeous!!! I can only claim responsibility for working on Auburn, Oklahoma State, Clemson, South Carolina, and Indiana.
Brandy always has such a specific vision for every single plate! I love our first sit down sessions when we hash out the details of a new design. It is so neat to see her cute little squiggly sketches and the blossom of an idea that I get to take home and make into a bloom.
I didn't ever really think I would get to be an artist. (yes, the education degree was only done for backup) Now look at me, a full time Mommy, part time artist...living the good life! Sigh...
How can you really thank someone enough for something like that???
I keep trying! Thanks Brandy!
I know too well the overwhelming uneasiness which comes from attempting to create something with no inherent zeal to propel forward action. I have no deadline here except that which I create in my own mind, which is kind of nice.
I think finishing up my latest drawing assignment took it out of me a bit. Hitting that deadline is always a relief!
I am so very thankful and humbled after years and years (and years) of having an art degree to finally be using it in a professional capacity. Oh, don't get me wrong...I have done some artwork in the years since my 1993 graduation. Countless made from scratch hand painted bags as baby shower gifts when I was too poor to actually purchase a gift. Intricate murals on walls of friends, little drawn notes scribbled in thanks, paintings and drawings for friends and family. And who can forget VBS? The hours and hours of work on vacation bible school projects. That one is mind numbing, truly!
So, here is a shout out to Varsity China, and Brandy for giving me an opportunity to make the paper my degree is printed on...
worth something...
... finally!
When you visit the website check out the State of Texas series. It is totally gorgeous!!! I can only claim responsibility for working on Auburn, Oklahoma State, Clemson, South Carolina, and Indiana.
Brandy always has such a specific vision for every single plate! I love our first sit down sessions when we hash out the details of a new design. It is so neat to see her cute little squiggly sketches and the blossom of an idea that I get to take home and make into a bloom.
I didn't ever really think I would get to be an artist. (yes, the education degree was only done for backup) Now look at me, a full time Mommy, part time artist...living the good life! Sigh...
How can you really thank someone enough for something like that???
I keep trying! Thanks Brandy!
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