Feeling inspired

I know I keep promising recipes, and I keep not delivering.
I just don't feel inspired, and inspiration is important when it comes to creativity.

Are you wondering just how much creativity is needed to write out a recipe?
Well, I am not inspired to explain it.
I want to get all sassy here and say..."hey, this is my blog and I am gonna write about what I want to write about and you can come here or not, and you will get your stinkin' recipe when I am good and ready to write it."
But, the truth is I have an insecurity issue and haven't gotten past that to share yet.

I start looking at recipes and then changing them to better suit what I want for my healthy eating goals and start thinking that maybe I am way more strict on those things than many other people and will anyone really even take the time to make this altered recipe, so why am I wasting my time creatively writing things out?
And then I also think....it is a cookie, why does it even need to be healthier??
Does it really need wheat flour in it, since it is a treat?
We just really love sweets around here and I know how my little family will consume them, so it makes me want to make it healthier.

I really want that for you too....is that so wrong of me?
I know everyone is not at the same place in their life and I hate to be the crazy lecture lady who people whisper about and don't want to spend time with because they think I pick apart their choices and condemn them.
I don't do that. I truly make an effort not to be that kind of girl.
Now I may try to give you some info to hopefully sway you toward what may seem a better choice....oh yes, I will definitely do that!!!
But condemn?
No way, because I have been where I used to be, and now I am not.
As I know more, I am gonna grow more.

That said, knowledge is power and part of the reason I started this blog was to help impart knowledge in a gentle, easy to manage way.
And one of the main ways I set out to accomplish that, is to make good food and recipe choices to share.

Then I go and start doubting myself and get all defensive and feel like I have to explain my position and say things like...
Do I always, 100% of the time choose the best options for myself and my family???
No, of course not!
In fact I will tell ya right now, on my birthday I fixed chicken nuggets and fries for my family for supper.
Yes I did.
I do this so rarely and therefore have few regrets about it.
I thoughtfully read the labels on the products I bought, carefully checking to be sure that they did not contain anything from my naughty list.
I didn't take the time to think ahead about my family this day and fell short on dinner prep.

I am not gonna beat myself up for this...it was my birthday after all.

Now back to the other hand again, I do have my absolutes.
For instance...
I was so angry last night when that "full of hope" little McDonald's commercial came on. The one about how they donate a portion of the sale of every happy meal to the Ronald McDonald House Charity.
The tiny little fine print at the bottom which flashes quickly lets you know that it is 1 cent per meal.
Ok, fine...they sell a lot of meals and that will surely add up to contribute to a very good cause, that is not what I have a problem with.

Here is my issue.
The ingredients in those meals!
Here is a really concise blog article on this particular topic.

I just have to wonder how much of what is in there is contributing toward hospital stays, and how much less would we need hospitals should we make better food choices??

Better food choices MOST of the time.
Thoughtful food choices.
Gaining knowledge and changing our habits food choices.
Knowing better and choosing to do something about it, choices.

Oh GOOD GRIEF!!!!
I came here today to write about a particular plant in my back yard and got all soap box on you.

I don't apologize for it though.

I was inspired by that commercial.

And ya know what???
I am gonna stop apologizing for trying to do better and in turn sharing that with you.
I am gonna be okay with healthifying my recipes and realize that there are plenty of places for you to go for the alternative to that.
I am not really sure why I suffer such grief about this anyway.
Yes, I do!
It is because it is important to me.
It is because I hope that someone who accidentally stumbles across my words will find something good there whether it be a cookie or a main dish.

And ya know what???
Right here I am gonna put a link to the recipe which also helped to inspire this post.
The recipe which is totally killer in its own right.
The recipe which I have now made 5 times changing and altering to give it a healthy twist that still delivers a cookie worth drooling over.

And on Monday, inspired or not, should time allow it...I am gonna share the version I have been working on despite my insecurities and doubts.

Love and coffee

Well, I had to change my "about me" section this morning!
I am no longer almost 40, it is the real deal now.

I have three chunks of cake in my fridge, because for some reason all of my buddies who took me for dessert last night thought I should have all the leftovers!
I can't decide if I love 'em or hate 'em for that. ha ha ha

My automatic timed coffee pot clock got bumped, so my coffee was gurgling an hour earlier than necessary this morning.
I went ahead and got up.
I really like my coffee fresh!

Actually I can admit that I have a bit of an addiction problem, with coffee that is.
It is more of a love affair actually. Yes, I feel much more comfortable with that term.

My friends last night fanned the flame but supplying me with a few bags of beans. This isn't the first time I have been given beans for my birthday, and I certainly hope it won't be the last!!!
Three birthdays ago, when I was still in my thirties, a dear friend of mine gave me some coffee beans. This in turn prompted me to write a poem, which I will share with you now.

You must know before you read...
Canasta is a card game.
I am an artist.
I really, really like coffee.
I really, really can't think very clearly in the morning til I have had some.
Starbucks has certain coffee's that they only sell at certain times of the year. Look for Casi Ceilo in January, Gazebo in July, etc. These are to my palate exceptional tasting coffee's and I am so sad when the season is over and there is no more available.
I recently had a birthday and was given some coffee as a gift and wanted to pay honor to the giver. This poem had been percolating in my brain for a week, and had finally worked its way out!!


The young woman awoke, her alarm was beeping
She wished very much that she could stay sleeping
She thought
those late nights can do you in
playing canasta til 11pm

Shuffled...she did...to the kitchen with glee
having in mind a hot cup of coffee

The grinder was ready for its dasterdly deed
and accepted the beans with what seemed like greed.
She thought
Was that the last bean???

just poured from the pouch???

Her mind was a whirling, her heart was aghast
for she knew when she bought them that they wouldn't last.

The taste of summer comes but once a year
in a bag called Gazebo, from a Starbucks found near.

The beans...
then the water... she pushed on thru her stupor
then with a press of the button she felt like a trooper

The counter, it managed to just hold her up
while she was waiting for the very first cup

The dripping of that first gorgeous brown drop
caught her attention, so she chose a cup

The sugar
the cream
and a spoon for the stirring
created a stillife which set her mind again whirling.

The gurgle...
you know just the sound
signaled the end...it was almost profound.

The fog of the day... it began to clear
as she sipped on the beverage that she holds so dear.

Her birthday she celebrated just the day before
with a surprise
and good friends
and oh so much more.

A thought...
it struck her mind like a hammer
her heart skipped a beat,
and to her gifts she did clamor.

There...
in a bag...
nestled in lightly
a gift of Gazebo, she grabbed on to one tightly.

Lovingly she carried the pouch to its new harbor,
settling it there with just a hint of ardor.

with a sigh she returned to her cup of brew,
wondering what other dangers she must yet go thru.

Face them she could, that much she knew
with good friends and a God that would carry her through.


I went to bed last night really feeling the love!
From my husband and kids, to all of my Facebook friends, my church family, and my buddies...I was showered with Birthday wishes yesterday and just felt like I was walking on sunshine!
I really like being me, right where I am, right now at this time.

I am blessed.

Settling in

Good morning friends.

The new daily routine is making itself known around here.
No more sleeping in until 7:30 for me, nope!
It is now early morning rising to get my 3 munchkins on the bus in a timely manner. I seem to be getting excellent results with my new magic alarm clock!
For my kids, being enthusiastically greeted by the dog is preferable to their charming mom coming in and gently waking them.
Whatever..I will go with what works!!

I find the evening before prep for the next day time to be more than worth its weight in gold.

The more you can accomplish as an off hand task the night before, the less you must accomplish in a time crunch the morning of.
You are doing this right!
You simply must, even if you are an unorganized right brain crazy like me, you can handle it.
Pack as much of those lunches as you can manage.
Help choose outfits for those girly girls and clothes for the boys!
Oh, yes there is a difference and don't try to convince my husband otherwise!!
Find the shoes which were shed with speed in all sorts of illogical places and put them in appropriate places.
Make sure all papers and books are already in backpacks.
Just cull through those things that must take place before a new school day and see what you can do the night before. Things will go so much more smoothly in the morning.

Some of this may sound silly to some of you who are old pros at this sort of thing, but I didn't used to be and wish I had known better... sooner.

I have to admit to you, that I didn't walk my dog for a whole week and a half. I can honestly say that part of that time I was in another state, and the other part I was in another state, of mind. Call it stressed out and exhausted with some lazy thrown in!

Now I am choosing to suit her up and head down the block to the bus stop with my 13 year old, having that as our starting place. I am not sure how long this behavior will be allowed, especially if I continue to choose to talk to the other kids at the stop! Ha ha ha.
I will keep ya posted on that.

Hey...look at this!

Do you know what that is???
Well, I will tell you what it is.
BLOOMS, on my new wisteria that my dear friends gave me as a house warming gift.
It shouldn't be blooming, not that I know of anyway.
It was a very, very nice surprise on my Monday that the kids returned to school.

Can I just tell you that was one of the longest days I have had in some time.
That first day of school yesterday.
I get used to the sound of my kids being here with me. Sure, it isn't always good sounds, but they are regular sounds.
It is far to quiet in my house, and I can't get Shelby to do much more than sleep. I need a good old 80's boom box to chase away the quiet.
I suppose I actually need a dock for my Ipod, duh!!

Sigh!!
Yes, I am puttering around here, literally and figuratively.
I am not motivated enough to scribe out a recipe, nor am I too much of a loser to write nothing.

How about another picture, to fill up some of this space.

I have no idea what these are called, but I do know that they open in the morning and close up tightly before evening.
This particular pot is hanging out by the pond, so it greets me when I go out to feed the fish.

oh, oh oh...One of my big orange fish is turning white!!!
And, yes I tried to take a picture of it, but fish don't pose well. He used to just have some speckles and now he is 2/3 white. I simply must do some research to find out what is happening.
My smallest fish is also white all over now as well.
I went back to my old photos and found something very interesting.
Just look, I managed to capture the moment in time when these sneaky fish were planning this!
See how the white one there with the orange on his head is whispering to the large orange one who looks like he's not really paying attention but who must have been or how else would he be turning white now.

Yes, I think that is hard evidence of what is actually going on out in my pond.

Sigh!

I know what my problem is today, and I was just avoiding telling you.
Tomorrow is my birthday.
And, somehow, when doing the math correctly I always end up with the number 40.
I can't possibly be on the doorstep of 40.
When did that happen? Where did the last 20 years go? People say time speeds up the older you get and I must say I am tending to agree.
I am not really opposed to getting older, I just can't fathom how it has happened, and so quickly.

Sigh...melancholy contentedness at its finest!
I wish my kids were home so I could give 'em a hug.
I am so thankful for my life, my family, my husband, my friends.
Sigh!

I think I will show some mercy here for you and just go change out the laundry!

And maybe bake a cake.
I know of a killer recipe, you can find it here!!

Quiet time

Do you hear that???

Listen....

I hear the ceiling fan singing its own particular song: part whir part rattle.
I can detect the buzz and purr of the computer parts doing their thing so that I can do mine.
I relish in the distinct sound of keys being individually pushed to create the words I see simultaneously on the screen before me.

Yes, the simple sounds of an indoor morning, relaxing computer side with ample coffee for sipping...dog laying quietly beneath my feet, basking in the quiet as well.

Dexter has been successfully delivered to his new home in Tennessee.
Let me tell you he was not excited about the 12 hour journey in a rental truck.
He is a bit of a scare-dy cat, if that isn't too much of a stretch for you to digest. My sis and I finally figured out to cough heavily when releasing the parking break as to distract him from the noise of it. I couldn't be more serious!!
We figured this out in Hope Arkansas while sitting in the parking lot of the Subway waiting for an exit strategy to present itself. Boy, that Watermelon Festival traffic is a bear!!


My first chore of the day (after coffee time of course) is to remove all evidence of his existence from my home.
Okay, really that just means to mop.

And mop I will.
And listen to the quiet I will.
And take my girl for Sushi I will.
Yup, it is just us girls today so we are gonna have Sushi!!

Here is to getting back to normal, and laundry...on Wednesday!

I just have to say...

YES!!!
We have made it to Friday.
Wednesday was the worst day of all.
Dexter decided that since Shelby had given in to his playful antics once, then she must want to play all day long.
Shelby decided she once again wanted to rip his throat out.

Thursday Dexter got fussed at all day, and walked around with his head hanging because no one would let him play with his friend. Borders were once again established and by the end of the day they were more respectful of each other.

It was actually fun to watch them this morning from the safety of the landing on the stairs as they romped about the downstairs which is basically still free of furniture. Shelby finally figured out what I have been earnestly telling her all week.
Our room is a safe zone, it is where her crate is.
Dexter is not allowed in our room for this, and so many other reasons!!!
She has somehow let this little fact escape her all week, but worked it to her best interest this morning. Dexter is quite disciplined on his boundaries (except when he's not) and chooses most often to stop his full out run at the entrance to our room. Shelby loved getting him completely riled up and frothing only to dart into her safe zone and bark a little triumphant escape cheer.
She then does a fun little one/two move and darts full speed from the room in a direct line to the dining room table, where he can't go because of all the legs!
Repeat, repeat, repeat. She tires of this long before he ever will and turns the grouchy girl back on quickly.
That is bearable!

My sister in law and I have decided to make the 12 hour journey to their new home together. We leave in the morning.
Just she and I....and Dexter the dog.


Can I just tell you I almost burst into tears when we arrived to pick up the moving truck.
I had imagined 12 long hours of drool and muscle in my lap on a bench seat.
It made me think back to the days of being crammed with my two brothers into the back seat of our station wagon and wanting to melt into the door rather than be touched by either of them for any amount of time.

"He's touching me!!"

"He's still touching me!!"

I mean, where were they supposed to go, it was a back seat!
Anyway, I digress.
In this moving truck there are 2 bucket seats and a large deep space between them. That means dealing with Dexter at lap level instead of eye level.
Trust me, it is cry worthy!!
I think maybe I will stuff myself inside our largest sleeping bag, and only come out for potty breaks.
I did tell you about the jowls on this dog right.
Mind you I am still taking photos with my phone and emailing them to myself...so this is the best I can do for you at this time, but I want you to really get a decent grasp of what I am facing.



It is kind of like baby slobber...you don't mind your own baby doing it, but other baby slobber...even ones you love, is icky!
I am opposed to slobber and drool, it is a personality trait.
One I am not proud of mind you, but one I am not willing to give in to either.

I think this is an appropriate time to change the subject.
We got a new hamster.


Hamsters don't drool.
Either do fish, or snails for that matter.
I notice these things.

Okay fine, I haven't yet successfully changed the subject, but we must continue on this train of thought so you can possibly understand my lack of love.
I like a clean tile floor. Swept daily of debris and kept clean with frequent spot cleaning and eventual mopping.

A large dog is detrimental to a clean floor.
In fact I have given up. Don't come to my house until I get back from my trip and can give my full attention to the barrage of destruction brought about by the jowls on my much loved Nephew Dog ,which hold lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of water.
Just imagine him greedily slurping from a water dish then joyfully turning to the nearest human ready to greet them with wild abandon!
Now imagine all of the water gathered in those amazing jowls and all the places it gets slung as he turns his massive head to move on with playfulness.

Or the lesser of disgusting, the simple slurp and walk away maneuver where the next 12 feet or so of floor is now littered with drops of slobbery water.
More often than not, he will choose to shake his head halfway in the process of moving to his next destination.
I will love Dexter so much more when he is in his new home and I can Skype with him!!

I think now I have said my piece on this issue.

Here is a good subject change...


Here is our first red bell pepper from our backdoor garden. (I bet Dexter has drooled on it)
We picked it the other day and let it fully redden in the kitchen window.
Last night I cut it into beautiful little squares and sauteed it with some garlic pepper. It was a wonderful addition to my scrambled eggs! Oh, was it gooooood!

Well, I have much to do today to prepare for my unexpected journey.
I have cookies to prepare as bribery for those willing to come and help load the truck and a number of other things.... except obsessing about my floor. Nope you won't find me doing that. No way, not me! Not today!

I promise when I come back I will share a drool-less blueberry crumble recipe that I started to type out on Wednesday...aka the bad day.

Now where did we put those sleeping bags in this new house????

Comfort given

1 down 4 to go!
Days of puppy sitting that is!
We had several interesting moments yesterday.
Well, almost the whole day was actually interesting, but there were moments that stood out in particular.
Almost as soon as I finished writing yesterdays post they actually started to play together.

Shelby would pause under an object of safety then take off at break neck speed with Dexter right on her tail to the next object. It was a frenzied race under the coffee table, down the landing hall, into the room at the end of the hall, back to the computer area and then started all over again. We stood back in awe and terror!
Awe because we didn't think this moment would come, and terror that someone may actually find themselves in their path and be thrown over the upstairs hallway rail should the bullet train collide with them. It only lasted a few minutes (thankfully), but it was neat to see them responding so well to each other. It gave me hope for the rest of the day.

I hoped to soon!

Shelby came to her senses and went back to her disbelief at his presence very quickly.

Many times during the day Dexter made the attempt to play and she thwarted his every move with a bit of a growl and a cold shoulder...until...late yesterday afternoon, she had had enough!!
He was once again jumping at her encouraging frolicking and she was not having it. This time she let him know with a bit of ferocity! Teeth bared, hackles up, low deep growling and yippy barking while circling around to escape.
Poor Dexter he didn't understand why this creature has no kind intention for him. He chose at that very moment to stop his pursuance of her and gently but firmly laid his head on her neck. He rested his head there while she calmed and got herself under control.
There the two of them were, standing there, heads together as close as they have ever gotten.

It was a very brief respite in an otherwise chaotic day.
Once she was fully calm, he did what any fun loving boy would do!
He got right back onto his haunches and fell right back into play mode. She being her, got right back into grouch mode.
This was so very humorous to behold.
But once again, he laid his head on her gently but firmly and calmed her.
It gave me hope for my children to stop their bickering,
it gave me hope for world peace, it was just an example of all that is amazing in creatures when they decide to go against their nature and choose another path.

I didn't get much laundry done yesterday, though it is sorted and ready. In fact I am just now remembering with the coffee gurgling through my system that I have a load in the washer and the dryer that didn't get attended to.

Did I ever tell you that my middle son got a hamster? I honestly can't remember.
Well, yesterday was the day of Humphrey the Hamsters passing. 8-9-10
He only got him back at the beginning of June so we didn't expect his death to come so soon.
I spent the better part of the afternoon consoling my tender heart-ed boy as well as fighting tree roots as we dug hole after hole in the back yard trying to get deep enough to bury little Humphrey!
Finally hole number three was a keeper.
We put a square, path stone down and my precious little boy lovingly painted it with the hamsters name and death date. He gently asked if I would go over his letters again to be sure the paint lasted a long time.
Whoa, some days it is tough to be a Mommy.
My sweet baby was up at 4:30 kneeling at my bedside crying and saying "I just can't believe he is gone."
I think we have decided to head to the pet store today to see if another hamster will suit my boy.

I can't possibly spend another moment here sharing craziness with you...the beasts are about!!
I have written this hastily, and all mistakes are mine....I claim them.

Let the games begin!!!

Dog Days of Summer

Hello Blog friends...

The end of last week was "one of those weeks".
If ya know what I mean.
More mentally exhausting than anything, I am actually still trying to catch up from that, but don't think the catch up will happen this week.
Well, not enough to be able to write very much anyway.

Why you ask?
Well I will tell you why, in one word....Dexter!!

I first met Dexter just over a year ago. He was so itty bitty and sweet and cute, sleeping most of his life away.
He is my Sister and Brother in law's dog. They live here in the same town with us and we relish the time with them.
He comes over every week to frolic about with our family and we adore him...(for the most part).
He has grown quite a bit in this last year and is a rather large muscular lummox of dog, still full of puppy sincerity and abandon!
He is a gorgeous brindle coated, 60 some pound, lean muscle and drool wonder of an animal.

Because of moving and all that goes with it for his owners he will be staying with us this week.

He is everything I don't care for in a dog.
Wait let me back up on that statement.
I have certain things I don't like about dogs FOR ME!
Meaning, they wouldn't work for my lifestyle and how I want to run my home.

Like for instance...drool.
Have you seen the amount of droll put out by a Boxer?? UNREAL!!!
Or another for instance, is a dog who is stronger than me.
That isn't saying much...Ha Ha Ha.
I just want to be able to physically control said beast and know that in any circumstance I won't be outdone by the dog.

There are plenty more examples which will only serve to make me look more foolish and much like a hater, so I will move on from this.

Dexter is quite well behaved, truly he is. His parents have really worked hard with him on all the basic doggy discipline. He can sit, lay down, stay, and he can even shake! He does very well with his commands...unless mightily distracted.

Hello distraction...in the form of a prissy princess, 20lbs when sopping wet, unpredictable little dog who has now been with us for 4 weeks.

Dexter is determined to playfully romp about with Shelby.
Shelby is determined to rip Dexters throat out one tiny piece at a time, because she is so (illogically) fearful for her life.
He is transfixed on her.
She is disgusted by him.
His eyes are lit with joy at the prospect of wrestling about with a fellow canine.
She rumbles in her chest when he makes his presence known in the room.
He bounces about exuberant at the very idea of being alive and having a tennis ball in his mouth.
She hides beneath my feet and fusses at him every chance she gets for his exuberance at being alive.
It is comical really!


Yes, look at how she ignores his very existence.
Now add to the this the genuine squeal and zeal of 3 children completely in love with both animals!
One in a constant state of master sergeant, ready to correct at the mildest wrong doing. (and it is not who you think it might be)
One who is an affection junky, constantly encircling the nearest dog in a tight embrace about the neck, while claiming undying love for the beast.
And yet another who utters a seemingly constant, "here puppy puppy puppy", in an unnaturally high pitched voice.

The energy in our home is palpable!!!

So, I am going to do my best to keep everyone alive and under control this week.

I think it will keep me pretty distracted and quite busy, so don't be expecting much from this end.
Although, I do tend to do quite well under pressure, so who knows...this may be my best blog week yet.
Hey, it is Monday and I am optimistic!
That was actually sarcasm!
Good bye forever, Jennifer

P.S. I am so thankful that I have this home and the ability to serve my family in such a small way as they make a very stressful move. Love you guys so very much, but this was too good a post to pass up!!

Happy 19th to us!

Hello August 3rd!!
Today is the anniversary of my wedding day.
Oh, yes....
the day of my wedding.
Not exactly the stuff fairy tales are made of.
If you don't know what I am talking about then refer to My Wedding Day Chapter One,
Chapter Two,
Chapter Three,
Chapter Four,
and finally Chapter Five.
You will hopefully laugh, but you will definitely cringe!!!

We have had so much fun relating this story over and over again to unsuspecting listeners! I think it is best done tag team style with my husband and I filling in the parts of the story we like the best.
I should have taken my wedding day shenanigans as a warning of how real life can be!!
Crazy, filled with mishaps, unpredictable (like the wind), out of tune, and drag you through the dirt wearying.
Man oh man...if that was all there was to it, no one would stay married.

But real life is also filled with sunshine,
and gifts generously given,
and friends to laugh and cry with you,
and family who has to love you,
and contracts signed,
and flowers and tulle and wedding cake,
and catch in your throat joy filled moments of wonder,
and commitments to love another person until parted by death.

Who can stand that much happiness in one day, let alone a lifetime of it?

Marriage can be an insane balance of wind and sunshine.
And that is okay, because one prepares you for the other, while the other helps you survive the one.
Does that even make sense??
Oh, good grief...I have been sitting here typing and backspacing for a good 45 minutes.

I just can't seem to find the words to tell you about how crazy hard maintaining a good marriage is, while on the other hand how amazing it is to have a partner who sustains your life in such a way that defies comprehension.


1 Corinthians 13:4-6
4Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous ; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly ; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth

Marriage lasts because we choose to put into practice these very principles.
Both of us!!
Okay, I gotta go. This marriage has also provided me with three children, who make concentration a bit of a stretch.